Memories, Melodies, Fragrance!

Bonds. Where do they come from?

2012-02-12T11:23:00.001-05:00

I'm wondering about 'rishtey' (translation: relationships). Where do they come from? How do they form? The kind of 'rishtey' that are below the surface. Not mama, chacha, beta type. The kind that are non-family related. The kind of 'rishtey' present between certain souls as some sort of a bond. A bond that defies time, distance, and hiatus of communication. The bonds whose presence is felt even in the absence. The bonds whose absence isn't dreaded or mourned, but whose eternal, abstract, absolute presence is known, felt, and appreciated always. The bonds that in spite of the hiatus start from the present, are always in the present ...even in their summary of the past. Where to these bonds come from?

My Path

2011-12-19T11:35:00.001-05:00

I feel like I have found my path. होश सँभालने के बाद / ever since I came to my senses, I have always 'argued' with people about having to experience. About having to feel. Experience and Feel on my own, so that I understand. Because True Understanding comes from within, not from tell-tales of other people. Other peoples stories are just that! Stories! They're only stories for me. Not an experience. Not a feeling. Not a lesson.

I feel like I have found my path. My path of Experience. My path of Feeling. Moving from intellectually knowing how illogical it is to have expectations, especially of those and that which are out of our control - and in all honesty, E-V-E-R-Y-THING is outside our control. Everything! - to Experiencing it and Feeling it inside me. Moving from intellectually knowing how illogical it is to get attached to people, things, thoughts, and beliefs to Experiencing and Feeling the impermanence inside of me - because the one, absolute, ultimate, undeniable, true fact is that all matter is impermanent. We all know this intellectually, don't we? But we all forget it when it comes to practice. Don't we? Experiencing and Feeling it first within, and then taking this Understanding and applying it to what is outside of me automatically results in a slight smile. A smile that reads: Awareness and Equanimity. Anicca. Anicca. Anicca.

I have found My Path. My heart was indeed in the right place. Always.

♫♪ कुछ तो लोग कहेंगे... लोगों का काम है कहना... ♪♫

"Caste" System is Real

2011-10-14T01:47:00.000-04:00

I kinda like the caste system (spur of this moment thought). But it's ~~probably~~ definitely a horrible thing to say in this day and age.

Hear me out though.

I think we as humans inherently practice it. But don't call it the 'caste system'. The formal layout simply doesn't exist in the western world and is taken too literally in the east. It's natural to follow ones heart and seek similar collateral. Being surrounded by what mirrors our own ideas, beliefs, thoughts, actions, and way of life, amongst numerable other things, is the 'caste' system. It's categorization. And you and I do it e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y because collective functioning is core to social human nature. And we can only collaborate collectively with those who are similar to us, who fall in the same category as us!

...and it changes as we change, as life progresses, as we move from one step to another. But I don't think it changes a lot, unless one was in the wrong category to begin with and takes conscious steps to move closer to her real self. Kinda like what I am doing with my current life* :)

*current life != Geetali Sharma aka Kishu; April 22, 1987 (or 9 months prior) to present day.
current life = Designer, in training + Minimalist (Beta) + spiritual-atheist-philosopher

Hah! How about me gravitates towards concise refinement! <3 Life!

'Expectations ≈ Goals'?

2011-10-13T22:40:00.001-04:00

A quick throw-up after reading Moving Beyond Goals on The Minimalists.

I make goals, but fail to meet them. I make goals, because I think I lack motivation. Which isn’t really true because I Have found my passion and, when engrossed, it brings happy tears to my eyes! Anything Design makes me glow.

Several years ago, I decided to let go of Expectations because I concluded from observation and analysis that they were a gateway to irrational unhappiness. Reading comments on the above blog, triggered a recollection of that idea. Letting go of Goals sounds very similar to me. Both, expectations and goals, are intellectually driven, not intuitionally. Intellect, although necessary to function, needs Intuition to create balance. In the want of expectations and goals – a fictional future – we forget to be in the present, the here & now, the true reality, and sooner or later complain of [irrational] unhappiness, of not knowing who we are, or who’s life we’re living.

Intellect comes with a certain amount of RAM and we are meant to utilize the fossil fuel Intuition (heart, gut, voice from within, motivation, whatever you may wanna call it, it’s the part of you that just knows).

I'm glad I read that blog, it has helped me further understand something truly important.

Change, I Heart

2011-10-11T02:16:00.000-04:00

Things that bothered me in the past, fail to instill the same affect off late. Example: cold temperatures, rainy weather. I'm starting to embrace change. Happily. Enthusiastically. I enjoy change. This idea of embracing, celebrating, and often, seeking change seems to define who I am. I feel it needs deeper contemplation.

:)

♫ I feel Happy inside! -The Beatles

Nothing but the Truth!

2011-10-09T23:32:00.000-04:00

For at least the past four months, I've been actively practicing the art of not lying. For a really long time, lying is how I dealt with my parents. Not because I was embarrassed of my lifestyle, but because I knew it was embarrassing for them. So I chose what Holy Bhagvad Gita sorta suggests and lied lies that prevented my parents from feeling hurt.

And then I got tired. Of living a double life. Of having to keep track of fiction. And of course, of dishonesty.

So, ever since moving back, I've chosen not to lie. It was a huge step because while living separately, I didn't have to speak to them or answer to them everyday or ever. Living in close premises is different as humans are social beings and it only makes sense to socialize with those who are available at close proximity. I was having my daily, trivial chitter-chatter with my parents. That would've been a lot of fiction to invent and track if I had chosen the fictional route. But, as I said before, I plain wasn't interested! I wanted to invest my creative sparks elsewhere. Thus, it has been all honesty since then, to the point of giving them the names of my guy friends who I chill with late-late at night. *sigh* it feels nice.

PS: This probably isn't a big deal for most people, but my Dad is Indian and expects me to be Indian, which means believing that everybody is out to get me and use me since I'm a poor little, vulnerable, weak girl and all, you know.

Anyways. The point of the blog is - Telling the Truth has become a Habit! Sometimes the thought of lying surfaces, especially if I want to not share something because of the embarrassment factor, but Habit doesn't let it happen! It's pretty awesome! So all in all, I guess, good habits are not as difficult to form as much we've somehow convinced ourselves to believe that they are. Huh.

Try something for yourself. It only takes perseverance.

Good night.

Shubh raatri.

Shabba khair.

I Dream Awesome Dreams

2011-10-08T23:06:00.000-04:00

I haven't shared my dreams with anyone in a while because once upon a time one dude interpreted one so accurately, it scared the bejeezus outta me! Now, however, I do a pretty good job interpreting them myself and thus don't mind sharing the awesome symbolic visual imagery that comes forth from within my deep subconscious and takes me on roller coaster rides at nights.

I guess the difference between then and now is that I don't feel out of control anymore. During the summer of 2006, sharing a motel room up in the smoky mountains with four people I hadn't known too long, I felt at a loss when my deep fears and desires were exposed so easily and freely by one of them whome I had barely known for a few hours. Understood by him in an instant! Things that I chose to deliberately look away from during my waking life surfaced through another route, which, again, I had no desire to dig into. It was mere play to me, this dreaming business. Entertainment of sorts. Motion picture, emotions, even physical movements designed specifically for me that could be experienced by no one else. It was wow-ness and awe-ness. It was something trivial to talk about, to keep verbal chatter flow continuously during road-trips and lunch dates. No biggie, really. Until the smart ass shut me up for six-years. Wowza!

As of now, I write them and the meaning unfolds automatically, without attempt, as I recall my dreams. There was also a time period when I couldn't recall them for months, may be a couple of years. Of course, because I wanted to look away; look away so desperately that my memory had no choice but to oblige. Then I started missing them. Life started seeming more bland as my source of entertainment was now missing. But more importantly, I didn't want to look away anymore. I had come to the conclusion that problems don't disappear if you look away. It may seem like they have but they always remain in the back of one's mind, slowing and invisibly draining energy, deeply confusing the person, cracking the hole of emptiness faster and wider. I wanted to start mending the whole. I wanted to start charging my batteries. And once my desire for flying high was true and deep, I started using my brain instead of keeping it turned off. I started grabbing everything in my life I was unhappy with, one by one, and started tracing back steps to the original cause, I performed numerous root-cause-analyses. That was part one. Part two, probably, was grabbing hold of opportunities that came my way. I know I've talked about it before, but I can't not mention it again: Vipassana. Meditation. This awesome tool, started helping me recall my dreams accurately and instantly. Yes, it has taken more practice over the past few months and it's not a one-time-cure. But more than anything else I did before or since, meditation just solves my problems without me having to consciously think and act upon them. It's fuckin' magic!

Anyways, the moral of the blog is - Dreams rock! Our brains are geniuses! And I'm letting mine become the genius that it inherently is :D

Peace.

Hauntingly Beautiful

2011-08-19T01:11:00.002-04:00

“Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality, the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.” —Lou Dorfsman

My mouth hurts. Wisdom is painful.

2011-08-12T00:56:00.000-04:00

I think this mouth-hurting business is an yearly event in my date-book. Last time wisdom started throbbing was indeed around this time in 2010. I have learned to accept it as a part of life after, uh, how many years has it been? Three, may be four. I don't know. Definitely the number that starts emerging patterns. Five? And(!), takes you to a point of knowing, experientially, that (1) the pain is only momentary and (2) you can't fuckin' do nothing about it, so shut up and keep dancing! Like a period, you know. First few years are a part of learning. Being miserable. Crying, making faces, and yelling 'mommy'. Eventually you experientially learn that (1) the pain is only momentary and (2) you can't fuckin' do nothing about it, so shut up and keep dancing! Or like a heartbreak. I don't know about you folks, but love isn't forever. Neither does it happen only once (Shahrukh Khan is a liar!). The first time your heart shatters, it takes a long, long time to mend. Took me 6 years. I was 16. Each time after that is probably as painful and depressing as the first, probably more, but having been through it before helps you learn, experientially, that (1) the pain is only momentary and (2) you can't fuckin' do nothing about it, so keep dancing, baby!

Going back to my wisdomy-ness. I really can't do anything about it. Knife is not an option. I don't trust people with knifes, especially if there goal is to use that knife upon me. People are humans, man. Humans are like you and me. We make mistakes. Hell, I'm reading this book that encourages making mistakes. Says that's the only way we learn. True. I agree with the book. And I chose to make the mistake of experiencing wisdom on a yearly basis.

Book Recommendation - Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error by Kathryn Schulz.

TEDTalk here - highly recommended!

Something must've happened when I was younger, unborn, or another human. This knife-fearing business must be coming from somewhere!

In other news: I fear sleep. In the fear of getting too much sleep, I end up depriving myself of it, to eventually fall down and snooze for 10-12 hours. I see the problem. I see the pattern. However, I'm too fearful to figure out what to do about it. Getting into bed is a problem. Getting out out of bed is a problem. And it's taking a toll on my productivity, and physical and mental well being. "Help, I need somebody." -Beatles.

Growing up is the shit!

2011-08-06T15:46:00.000-04:00

My being is shadowed by a hint of sadness these days. Only when I'm alone though. And in my alone-ness, I observe a hint of pain right below my chest and above my stomach. Emotional pain, nothing medical doctors can do anything about. I'm not sure if the pain is more or less than what I'm perceiving. Focusing on it, makes it go boom-boom... but it never comes close the point of un-bearing, distances from it! And whether or not I focus on it, I can go about with my day. This thing within me is not a hindrance. A huge leap from past times when emotions would completely overcast the present, leaving me paralyzed for days, weeks, even months at a time.

I like to think I'm becoming immune. The thought that may be 'this wasn't that big a deal' crossed my mind, but that's not true at all. It was, err, is a big deal! Like all other deals that affect me deeply. It not feeling like a big deal, however, is a different story. It's a matter of immunity, it's a matter of having been there before, it's a matter of having learnt things from the past. And it's my body which has learnt stuff because my mind wants to dwell on it, just doesn't find enough information, gives up, and moves onto other things. Things I should be doing.

Few positives have come out of this.

I'm paying more attention to music. Especially lyrics. God knows I missed that.
I'm also experiencing music differently. No matter what genre, I relate to it in one sole way. I use pieces of this experience - from beginning to present, from surprise and amazement to done and gone, to relate to what's playing. Or rather, allow what's playing to relate to my life. I love it! I've always been a fan of personal touch :)
And, I break into dhyaan-mode (meditation) whenever the mind wants to disregard what my body's saying. Win-win.

Other than that, my emotions and responses continue to bounce between extremes. I smile. I tear up. I'm grateful. I'm regretful. I'm happy. I'm sad. I want to punch [them]. I truly wish for [their] happiness. All emotions true to my core. I really do feel all these things. Nothing is fake.

हाल तेरा ना हम-सा है, इस ख़ुशी में क्यूँ ग़म सा है... (Song: Tune Jo Na Kahaa, Film: New York)

Weird. Weird for me, because I don't recall ever experiencing this before.

चाहत के दो पल भी मिल पाएँ, दुनिया में ये भी कम है क्या... (Song: Senorita, Film: Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara)

Home Coming

2011-07-31T22:20:00.000-04:00

I went photographing in the wilderness today. Panola Mountain State Park is only about a 15-20 minute drive from home.

Yes, it's home these days, not 'my apartment'. Home, where my parents live and breathe. And I do too since mid-June '11 :)

Spontaneously decided this hike sometime around midnight last night. It was based on need. A need to get away from central air-conditioning and sitting on my ass doing things that one does sitting on their ass. Which includes, in no particular order, but is not limited to: working, sketching, eating, watching, smoking, thinking, day-dreaming, drinking, planning, meditating, analyzing, reading, browsing, shitting, listening, writing, texting, talking, etcetera. I needed fresh air, some sweating, and natural peace & quite. Needed to get away from my own head - kinda hard to do since it's with me 24/7/365. Also, a certain grievance, which I didn't know needed some grieving until I grieved couple nights ago, had become stagnant. Fresh air helped it move, and while driving back I was happily and chirpily and dancingly and enjoyingly singing along chaahat ke do pal bhi mil paaye… from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, on repeat.

In the wilderness, I listened to music, took photographs, ate aalu paranthe, smoked a cigarette, listened to nature, meditated on top of my car, read under a tree, and once ready to go, started whistling happily :) …I also threw away the cigarette pack, with some cigarettes still in it (a first!). Will see how long this quit session lasts. "Fuck you, peer pressure!" seems to have gotten stronger within me (I should consider quoting this to peers as well), so I might last longer this time… well, as long as, "Fuck your fuckin' theories, Kishu!" is even stronger.

In other news: taking time off Alcohol this Ramadan.

Silence. Again.

2011-07-01T11:06:00.001-04:00

Every time some one asks me to 'enjoy', or 'have fun' at, my Vipassana sit/course, I'm left bewildered. FYI friends, it's like asking someone to enjoy exams, surgery, or a diagnosis :)

Back on July 5th. Peace.

Aandhi Aayi

2011-06-29T23:09:00.000-04:00

I stayed away from Bhaag D. K. Bose for the longest time. Shayad, because I intuited a deep attraction towards it. Now that I've given in, Yes, I love it.

-Jhaag

Idiot Training

2011-03-08T04:19:00.000-05:00

When life starts biting the behind,
makes it difficult to survive,
...start looking for signs.
The more you look,
more you'll find
...and shall start flying in no time.

It works. I started believing in and recognizing signs on Friday, March 4th 2011. They've been coming in from all directions.

The mind is such a stupid sob. It needs to be tricked and tamed throughout the way. Idiot.

Keep in Touch

2011-02-24T02:13:00.003-05:00

Catching up with friends and family is rewarding. Period. This week has been particularly rewarding in that sense. Though I can't deny that each week, for some time, has been that way. For the longest time I underestimated the power of telecommunication - probably because I never bothered keeping in touch with anyone. But now that I'm back in the game, I can't thank technology enough. In person communication rates higher, no matter what. But phone, chat, email come in close behind, in that order.

The best thing about talking to others is that it makes me realize how much I have grown over time. Sitting in solitude and catching up with self is one thing, a very important thing. However, when mixed with sharing and listening to other peoples stories, suddenly the entire process becomes wonderous.

Love life. Love the people in it.

Can mobs be civil?

2011-02-21T09:34:00.000-05:00

I've always loathed it when [some] people argue it is the woman's fault if she gets sexually asaulted or raped because she invited it by being there, or being beautiful, or suggesting advances. But, I'm not sure how I feel about this one:

Female Foreign Correspondents' Code Of Silence, Finally Broken http://huff.to/dN7OVx

What do you think?

For one thing, I KNOW mob-mentality is the lowest, scariest, most hideous the public can get. There's a level of invisibility. Law is not in place. Chaos helps overshadow everything immoral, unethical, illegal. So how can one expect (in our not-so ideal world) for people to act with civility, when the only thing that FORCES us to act in line is the fear of getting caught, the fear of loosing dignity.

Life: A Tangled Maze

2011-01-29T15:27:00.000-05:00

It stings when good friendships turn into dust. A lot of times I feel it's unfortunate that no two entities can be on the same page. Life would seem so much easier then, I like to think. But this is also momentary; this relationship shall once again rise up from dust and reach a turn where each accepts and respects the page the other is on :). Amen.

Slept, pretty much, the entire day yesterday (Friday). I convinced myself that I was catching up on sleep, but in reality the more I slept the sleepier I got. Even depressive. Gotta consciously keep a hold on my lazy instincts.

I feel my roommates are like my family. And I love that feeling!

I used to think that people are more accepting of friends because in a way they're not directly involved and it's easier to accept one's faults when you don't have to deal with them on a regular basis. Now, however, I'm starting to think that families rate much, much higher because, although initially they may throw a tantrum or create a fuss about whatever seems out of the ordinary, once they come to terms with it, they stand tall and strong even when someone tries to push 'em down. Yeah, I know that most of the world thinks family is forever and it must come as a surprise that I am only now(!) realizing this. But while growing up, the person who influenced me the most had her own qualms about life based on her past experiences. Which, although weren't my own thoughts and beliefs, put a major impact on the way I saw things, intensely affected how I dealt with situations. I will not say that I feel unfortunate that my surroundings have affected me negatively at times, because there have been many more positive influences as well. I do, however, feel lucky to have been able to experience and interact with life so much that I can develop my own beliefs and opinions. Ideas that are my own and so strong that I can feel confident in rejecting what I learned at an impressionable age.

The above realization has nothing to do with my family. Extended or immediate. My family is not a family. It's just a word. Extended and immediate. Though, I have to admit that sometimes they surprise me with their family-like behavior.

I don't like to believe in luck. But since recently, I'm starting to feel that I am one lucky kid! I feel I've had it easy. Or may be not. May be it's all about how me, myself, and I perceive things. Because when I start thinking about the most recent crap (past 5-10 years), it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all. At one point I was even suicidal. That sounds horrible! That's the lowest someone can reach! But(!), I rose above either because of courage or because of cowardice. In my head it was cowardice. Nonetheless, I rose above and today after being past all that I feel I'm lucky. So, it's all about how the individual perceives things. We have to find faith within. No God helped me through, because I don't believe in that shit. I believed in myself. And I'm lucky that I had the courage to do just that - believe in self, instead of an outside phenomenon.

I may be getting better at suno sabki, karo apni (listen to everyone, but do what makes sense to you). However, it's unfortunate that people take it as an insult when they see that I decide not to do as they suggest and mis-categorize it as me not listening to them. Whereas to me it's just a matter of dealing with things differently because of being a different person with different experiences that lead to differing opinions and beliefs and actions. But unfortunately, feeling rejected dents one's ego and gives rise to conflict which leads to unnecessary tension that, quite simply, is made up! A figment! Life would be so easy if we just accepted people for who they are instead of forcing them to mold into our definition of perfection. How true does this sound: "I will love you if and only if you change yourself"? That's fake love! Thanks but no thanks, dear well-wisher :).

Life is so beautifully complicated! It's amazing! :D

Date of Death: Unknown

2011-01-26T17:26:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, on January 25 '11, a man named Emmanual Hammond was executed in the state of Georgia. I had never heard his name before around 9 in the morning that day when I came across this BBC news article.

Day before yesterday, on January 24 '11 sometime around 11 o'clock in the morning, my Intro to Graphic Design teacher mentioned that his "wife's client will be executed tomorrow" and during her recent visit with him, a conversation went as such:

Him: So, what're you gonna do with your life?

Her: Buying a farm, we'll grow organic stuff.

Him: Well, you can't wear all black and high heals there! :D

note: teacher's wife is black-crazy.

The information learned on Monday was not at all ordinary, but I forgot about it as quickly and easily as it had entered my knowledge base. The information learned on Tuesday, however, made me realize that Hammond and I only had 3 (or would it be considered 2?) degrees of separation between us. Just because the article mentioned his name, my psyche promoted him from a cliental entity to a full fledged human being. I wondered about his question: "So, what're you gonna do with your life?". I wondered what he did with his life during all those days when he knew for a fact that he was only moving closer to the end as each moment passed. I wondered how every person on this earth faces what comes, because, well, doesn't everyone know for a fact that they are getting closer to the end of their lives, too? And then I wondered, what I would do if I knew that today I would breath my last.

Surprisingly, the answer did not have any skydiving or amusement park trips planned. Neither did I see myself calling or emailing everyone I know or care about. No skipping school or work, either. And not even a hint of sorrow. Instead, I saw myself driving to school - as I was doing while thinking about this - and not speeding, even though I was late. I imagined myself in class, not day-dreaming, but utilizing every minute to work on what was assigned. Applying myself fully to the tools at hand, be it paper and pencil or screen and mouse. If I knew that I was to die tomorrow, I would live my last day on earth completely submerged in the moment. Submerged in my daily reality, in the routine of what my duties demand. For that is the real me, that is what gives me my identity. And I'd want to be Geetali for every single moment of that day. And why just that day? Why not every day? Why not every moment? Because, when I walk out the door in about fifteen-minutes to hit Kroger and Unit2Fitness, I may die! I may even die before that. My misfortune, unlike Hammond's, is that I don't know my date of death and unfortunately that makes me take life for granted and lose the precious moments that only I have the power of making beautiful by the power of my being in the moment.

What are you going to do with your life?

What A Life!

2011-01-24T16:42:00.000-05:00

Note: Don't get critical about the crappy writing style, focus on content instead - specially from 3rd paragraph, starting with "In other news..."

Written: Jan 23 '11

I'm in Jonesboro today, which is where my parents live. Woke up at 7:30 in the the morning after only about a five hour sleep which was preceded by a long chat with Sindhu (roomie), which was preceded by hours of game play at Dave & Buster's with a bunch of friends, which was preceded by work and a quick meet with a friend at the Auto Show being held at the Georgia World Congress Center - I wasn't interested in the cars though, my attention was on typography, instead :) - which was preceded by a happy start to Saturday morning after only about a four to five hour sleep, which was preceded by a long chat with Nammo (roomie), which was accompanied by Zinfandel - drinking started around 8 in the evening on Friday night - the chat was preceded by all four roomies - Harini, Namrata, Sindhu, and I - watching Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge and praising Shahrukh Khan without stop ;), which was preceded by a beautiful evening of poetry at Proma's while Poet Dude was visiting from Boston. Whew! 30 happenin' hours! Wonderfully refreshing!

I reached home this morning around 8:45. Had told dad a few days back that I'll be home early and he doubted my abilities, had to accept the challenge and shot up at the first sound of the alarm. At home, papa was showing off the Netfilx, Blue-ray combo and started playing Guzaarish. He left in the middle due to work but I was hooked! What an amazingly beautiful film! Everything about it is just beautiful: story, actors, acting, sets, songs, direction, you name it! Hrithik Roshan is such a wonderful actor, well, everyone acted exceptionally well in this movie. If you haven't already, watch it!

In other news, in the past week I met three of the people I look up to, consider my role models in some way or another. And for the first time I wasn't starstruck. After observing and listening to them intently, they transformed from being god-like figures to normal human beings, people who make mistakes, people who lose temper, people who can be irrational and judgmental at times, people just like me! This doesn't mean my respect has gone down, not even a bit. In stead, it has now switched to an interesting combination of more respect and more relatability. They, their ideas, their actions, their abilities, their perseverance, their courage doesn't seem so far fetched anymore. They are also human with emotional needs that needed to be either fulfilled or conquered for them to become the pillar they are today. And it doesn't end there. It is a life long process that they continuously fight, but at times can't help getting sucked in. They are just like me! Seeing that confusion, that irrationality in their faces and voices and past and present tales tells me that I too, just like them, can get past the hurdles and come out shining as long as I apply myself and do not give up. Thank you, Khuda, for showing me this light :)

Added: Jan 24 '11

In addition, the above observation cum realization may have also pushed me in the direction of being less judgmental. When I don't like something about a person, instead of jumping to the conclusion that they're incompetent, I have the option of accepting that 1) they may be going through a bad phase, or 2) they are just different than myself, and that's okay! It's absolutely okay.

Adding on to the "it's okay" state-of-mind: unhappy arguments and conflicts that don't result into anything but hurt, aren't taking a toll on me these days. Yes, they hurt. But that's it. I move past them as soon as I accept that I've been hurt. I don't turn around to hurt the source in return, and it's cool. One may think that this may be piling underneath the surface to erupt at a future date, but nothing is piling up! I don't feel heavy at all. I'm light. And I'm happy. I've been saying, "I'm happy!" so much lately, that I'm starting to wonder if it's a lie - but no, I have real happiness on my face! Then I wonder if it's a mistake, a dream. And I can't really deny that, because I feel life is a dream. Each moment a reality when in it, once past it, once it's no longer a reality of the present moment but a mere memory, it starts to have a dreamlike feel, doesn't it? For that matter even when we are dreaming, it feels real when in it. So whatever it may be, however long it may last, this continuous smile is my present reality.

Although I haven't been meditating, Vipassana is the definite culprit :). It is the one that helped me reach this state and the one that helps me accept and move past things on a moment to moment basis. It is the one that helps me smile :) ...and for the past few days, I'm overflowing with love. Unconditional love. I love everyone and everything around me. Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that I don't know how or where to direct it. My eyesight becomes hazy, because it's so effin' full of love! WOW. I've never been here before. And although adjusting is taking some time, I definitely like it here :)

Designer, in training.

2011-01-20T23:16:00.000-05:00

Today was the first day of my second Typography class of the week. Went to the first one yesterday, but learned the same evening that I was being kicked out of it since there had been a glich with the system and the student who's seat I had grabbed was dropped out of that class mistakenly. Lucky me is back in the same night class I had so elegantly dodged. Oh well. The evening class dude seems cool and dedicated and I feel I wouldn't mind not reaching home until after 10 O'clock every Thursday if my sixth sense is sensing it right.

While going over typography nomenclature in class, we hit river, orphan and widow. Immediately I went from partly paying attention and partly dozing off to completely recalling my high school years when I wasted most of my time trying to avoid these exact things while trying to write scholarly essays and satires that went above and beyond the expectations of Mr. Kirk and Ms. Schernekau.

It makes me happy.

And it makes me sad.

Then I come back to reality and accept the fact.

Happy because I've always had this in me. Naturally.

Sad because I didn't know what it meant. 'cause no one could point me towards the direction in my head.

And then I accept it, because I'm here now. And it's not too late. Not too late to fret at all.

arre bhaiya all iz well

Happy and Merry

2011-01-19T23:03:00.000-05:00

Today, like the past few days, was another round of happyness and merryness (misspelled on purpose :). The day started not as early as planned but ended up being more productive than the entire last week, combined! School, classwork, job, high priority errands, cooking turn, workout, homework, socializing, everything. I accomplished everything anticipated and more!

It is true: beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder. These days everything around me is beautiful, even when it's not! I smile. I radiate. And no, I'm not in love! At least not in love with another individual. Just content and comfortable with where I am, but still have that motivating drive encouraging me to keep going. Comfortable but not lazy. Content but still thirsty.

My third annual round of self-exploration just came to an end and this is where I end. Happy and Merry. May have figured out more concrete stuff this time around, or may be it's an illusion because it's a build up upon the past two years. Either way, I'm happy. And I'm merry.

…and when I'm happy and merry I cook what I don't cook other wise to share the happyness and merryness with, I guess, my family - roomies :). Today was a Chipotle-copy-cat meal. Turned out well.

That's about it. I don't know what more I want to say. Just wanted to record this happyness and merryness.

Atlanta Snow Week

2011-01-12T23:47:00.000-05:00

Atlanta and surrounding areas have been snowed in since Sunday (Jan 9) evening. Large part of Georgia came to a screeching halt and schools, offices, stores were closed on Monday and Tuesday. Things started picking up today, Wednesday... but the road conditions haven't improved much on the outskirts, i.e. outside downtown or midtown Atlanta. More places will start opening their doors tomorrow (Thursday), but they're being cautious by starting late (Georgia Tech at 10a, Art Institute at noon), but many continue to play it safe by declaring another day off.

In all this chaos, instead of enjoying this unexpected extra time with self or with family or by doing something that they had been putting off because of the lack of time, people continue to complain. When suspected that Ai may not resume classes on Thursday either, I read students writing on Facebook how disappointed they were; and then when we learnt that school will indeed be open starting noon (still not sure, we'll know the real deal tomorrow) students started cribbing about the serious icy road conditions. It's really mind boggling. Do we really, always, want what we don't get?! WHY?

I came back from a 10 day Vipassana course on Friday, Jan 7. And thank god I did it when I did (wish I could've done it sooner though). Through all this snow and ice mayhem, I've been sitting and observing peoples reactions. Not at all ideal. They do - and I can't figure out why - continue to make themselves miserable based on something that's not even in their control! Wow, indeed. So what if you get another week off school. So what if you can't go anywhere. So what if school will drag into another week at quarter or semester end. So what if you'll have to move around some plans. You can't fight with anybody about it, damn it! What're you gonna do? Punch nature in its face? Psh! Read a book. Watch movies. Play board games. Get to know your roommates. Do something you haven't done in forever or ever. There's no lack of things to do, even if you can't step outside.

Live in the moment, Atlanta. You may miss it when it's gone; and it will be gone. Impermanence is how nature works, just observe how long it lasts, objectively, without identifying yourself with it - Vipassana words :)

Happy Ice and Snow week! Peace, Atlanta 2011.

Saturday, Come Again!

2010-12-11T11:41:00.000-05:00

I think Saturday is probably my favorite day of the week. Everything seems so serene with the official work week just coming to an end and the start of next one being - or seeming to be - a good while away :). There suddenly seems to be an abundance of time (an illusions, yes!), specially if on wakes up early and the goal of day is to just chill, chill, just chill...

*enjoying this bliss and not thinking about Sunday for now*

Happy Saturday!

Feeler or Thinker?

2010-12-10T17:14:00.000-05:00

I edited the About Me section on Facebook, adding:

Visual and Tactile + Feeler *and* Thinker = Designer, in training.

Soon, ended up googling the difference between Feeler and Thinker and found the following:

To describe a Thinker as a Thinker is both honest and affirming, but to describe a Feeler as a Feeler is often felt to be disaffirming or demeaning. Feelers therefore wish to imagine themselves Thinkers, regardless of the facts. Just as there is only one answer to the question, "Are you lying?" (No), regardless of whether the respondent is telling the truth or lying, so also everybody wants to tell you they are a Thinker: the actual Thinkers follow their own values by telling the truth, and the Feelers also affirm their own values in lying about it -- but in doing so they violate the values they falsely claim of themselves.

Hah! The irony! Makes me wonder if I'm a Thinker-wannabe. Probably am! :)

Current State of Mind. Lost. Confused.

2010-11-11T00:20:00.000-05:00

I like my current profile picture on Facebook. It has a cold, lost feel to it. It reminds me of philosophical dilemmas. Which, by the way, since have no answers, turn Atheists into Spiritualists, I believe. Not to say that these two have to be distinct. One can both reject the existence of an ultra-omni being and still strive for inner peace. The difference being, self-reliance and self-control leading the way instead of dependence or fear.

But I digress. Back to the picture.

The cold feel is probably driven by memory. Lit up trees remind me of Christmas and New Years. Lost, of course, is due to the "ghost" affect, but primarily because of my current state of mind. Surrounded by people, work, responsibilities and a new confusion. Walking the "who am I?" path, again! Did this last year, turned out well. Now, however, it bothers me to be back in this state. Partly because I think it came too soon - it has barely been an year, that's Short! Makes me wonder if I messed up the last time, or left the process incomplete. Eh, this statement sounds so effin' full of void. It has no answer! Damn figuring-shit-out phases!

And also, it's partly troublesome because, I realize it's a never ending process. Which in itself is bothersome. Never ending?! That phrase is bothersome. How does one deal with something that will never ever end? Is there a point in dealing with it or is it just a waste of time? Don't answer that. I know it's NOT a waste of time; instead it's a step at a time. But, a step at a time to what? Where am I trying to reach? Fucking Nirvana? Well, that'll take lifetimes!

Anyways. So yeah, this is where I currently stand. Lost. Confused.

Just Do It

2010-10-21T01:55:00.003-04:00

Is it easier to hate than to love?

…or may be it's a matter of convenience.

Discomfort stricken. But the deed must be done.

"Give me some sunshine, give me some rain…"

Crime. Fear. Shoot.

2010-08-26T04:07:00.002-04:00

It's scary how scared we're of the dark, empty, quite night. While standing in the balcony at 3:30 in the morning, I decided I wanted to take a picture of Atlanta downtown sharing the skyline with mist. Stepping out of the apartment door with the expensive gear, noisily walking across the hallway to the elevator, and getting to the 7th floor of the parking garage was a whole another level of decision making. It required contemplation, careful weighing of reward and threat, reminder to buy a pepper spray, intensely alert ears, and courage to infinity. I did it - out and up and clicked and back - but did not feel 100% safe until I was back inside [the apartment] with the door double-locked.

Even when the elevator doors opened, I waited for a few seconds and entered - and exited - slowly, carefully studying my surroundings. The first five minutes on the deck were spent walking around, looking down walls and railings, making sure all was safe. Even when satisfied with the investigation, gear was being setup by hands, while eyes and ears were still on guard. Buildings weren't lit-up the way I wanted so the photo-shoot was a waste, but even if they had looked perfect, I couldn't have given my entire self to the project.

Crime sucks. Fear blows.

I need a ~~late~~ night shooting buddy.

Cliché, with a touch of self.

2010-08-19T13:57:00.005-04:00

uneasy darkness threatened by fire

unstable emotions fueling desire

I hide behind an invisible veil,

nobody knows the real tale...

Happy Ramadan!

2010-08-12T21:52:00.006-04:00

In mere sixty minutes, the moon went from a shy and delicate light-weight white curve to a confident and bold orange-red accent-poser demanding for attention. Pictures, from my baby lens anyway, can't do justice; words will have to suffice.

PS: Thinking about giving fasting a try; the self-control - and in turn self-realization - bit sounds intriguing.

Photo Metadata

Focal Length: 53mm

F-Stop: 5.6

Exposure: 1.3sec

Edits: crop

iSnap

2010-08-11T14:21:00.001-04:00

Either I'm getting old, or lack patience - BIG TIME! It annoys me, literally makes my blood boil, to chat with people who use short forms for e-v-e-r-y d-a-m-n t-h-i-n-g. I mean, why the F can't you write nice instead of nyc [fyi, nyc = new york city, dumb ass!]. I mean, WTF! What's more annoying is, they wouldn't know what official chat lingo means - lol, rofl, brb. Where the hell are these people coming from?!

So in future, when you ask me when I'm "online" and I reply "I don't sign into messengers" ... OR... if due to some miracle I am indeed signed in but chose to never respond to your messenges ...don't, DO NOT!, ask me why.

Kaanch si madira...

2010-08-05T23:56:00.002-04:00

Out of the blue, without any fault of mine - and I mean it, I did nothing! Followed all rules of decent clothing - my nose started acting up on Sunday evening. Attack of the cold! It was taking a major toll on concentration and Monday night I realized that whiskey works wonders in curing stupid runny noses than any over the counter drug. That night was a good night :). Next morning I was almost cured, and the morning after that fully cured!

Next arrived Mr. Deadly Cough. Ignored it for one night - not good! Two tiny sips the next morning, kept my throat clear the e-n-t-i-r-e day! The day has now faded away and so has the drug. Thus, I return to the [bar] counter, pour myself a drink, sit back and s-i-p it this Thursday night while reading about John Baskerville.

Golden opportunity to have the golden drink!

On another note: came up with this while trying my dumbness on the guitar. First string, alternate frets.

First, Random Try by middlseat

<3 Macs. Period.

2010-06-07T02:46:00.001-04:00

In the midst of using only Macs at home, school, work, everywhere(!) over the past six-months, I had forgotten about - or become accustomed to (depending on how one looks at it) - its neat features. A great deal at hand, having to juggle an unusual amount of work, jumping through windows and tasks [during this last week of second quarter] re-birthed my love, admiration, obsession for this crafty machine.

<3 Macs. Period. Full Stop. Poorn Viraam.

An A/C Less Summer. May be.

2010-05-13T20:35:00.005-04:00

I love the sound and feel of a fan. It takes me back to the summers spent in our [less than] mediocre home in Model Town, Delhi. Lying on the cool farsh (floor), staying protected from loo-full afternoons, drinking Thumbs Up poured from [dirty, recycled] 500ml glass bottles while watching Chhutti-Chhutti.

Atlanta weather, this year, has been playing a game of finally hot! nope, chili again :P in the middle of May. So chili that it demands a sweatshirt and so hot that it makes you wanna strip. Either way, the central heating or air conditioning at Punti's stays put at "off." During the hot part of the summer, comes out the fan along with nostalgia and both him and I indulge in reminiscing conversations of our separate - yet similar - childhood summers :)

Aal Izz Well

2010-04-03T09:32:00.002-04:00

It's amazing how much we rely on our bodies functioning normally. In the past two days, the machine(s) encasing my soul has been struck by a stiff neck, inflexible muscles, insomnia, and a fear of catching a cold, to mention just a few. Some of these may be interrelated, for example, neck pain making sleep a distant dream. Others, a result of prolonged dismissal of important activities: no yoga = old age, aka inflexible muscles.

Sure, I enjoyed insomnia night one. Sleepless, tired-less night. The world around me dark and quiet, the other side of the globe a frolicking bunch. Night two, however, should not have seen the sunrise but mid-day instead. After the initial fun it's just repetition, monotony, same-old! Fun turns into loneliness and excitement into anger.

On another note, finished my first quarter of art school two weeks ago. Did [extremely] well in academics after f-o-u-r l-o-n-g y-e-a-r-s; tasted my hard-earned triumph after, what once felt like, eternal darkness. March 23rd, the day I looked at my final grades, marked the end of one and the beginning of another cycle. During the first I saw all different levels of academic success, primarily driven by my social success. Current cycle's social success, I promise, will depend on my professional success.

Oh, lastly, I am [finally - not that I was hurrying -] in a committed relationship. Same guy, different story ;)

Hello, darkness, my old friend.

2010-04-01T07:13:00.002-04:00

What does it mean when a place brings out the lazy in someone. Or maybe, it's not the lazy but, the scary in them. What if, you're in a place where you spend all your days in bed, under the covers, interacting with the world virtually. Only virtually. Never stepping out, not doing things you promised yourself you'd do, leaving the room only when it's a bodily need - feeding, excreting. The primary driving force here is a place; when outside its boundaries, all becomes well.

I enter such boundaries by will at times because if I don't, guilt starts creeping in. Initially so slowly that realization, dismissal, repetition enters what appears to be an infinite loop, pushing the equation off balance little by little, eventually reaching the point of, well, return. And thus reappears the scare, the fear, that thing that seems to be sitting on my soul, pushing me down, preventing myself from being myself.

May be it's time to say good-bye. Or, could it be, a see-ya-later!

Observe, Perceive, Employ

2009-12-15T23:57:00.002-05:00

Being a romantic and adventurer, I'm not a mist-hater. It makes the world look dreamy, beautiful yet uncertain, discovery prone, demanding exploration.

Atlanta, caught between watery clouds, made me come up with all these hypotheses yesterday. One could gaze up to a certain distance, but after a point landmarks seized to exist to the trained eye. And today, there seemed to be innumerable streets, buildings, and cars lighted up outside the window. Almost an unusual, puzzling amount. The confusion, however, was short-lived as I recalled the mist and realized its affect on how I perceived the same view on two (or rather, three) consecutive days.

Is that what's so attractive about a momentary change? A fresh way of looking at the same, familiar, taken-for-granted surroundings. Thinking about them from a previously unknown or overlooked perspective. Appreciating the existence, the legacy, and smiling away...

Aroma Reboot

2009-12-13T19:37:00.001-05:00

It has been a month since a cigarette stick last danced between my fingers. A month since it last kissed my lips. A month since it filled my lungs with guilty pleasure. Fingers don't reek of disgust anymore and deadly coughs are close to nonexistence.

Pockets feel both heavy and light - no 20-packs, no gum-sticks, no liquid scents. Limbs only shiver when necessary, when stepping out is a requirement. Nervous system craving nicotine is dismissed as soon as it's realized. Which, by the way, is inversely proportional to time - as time moves on, cravings decrease. In other words, time lapse between two successive cravings is on a rise.

Held the last black butt between my right index finger and thumb on November 11, 2009 at 12:10am. Looked right into it, said good-bye, and put it back into the Kretek Black Box. Idea is to get it framed and celebrate! Everyday!

Travel Green

2009-12-05T16:22:00.009-05:00

Stopped using MARTA - Atlanta's public transit system - at the end of my Spring 2009 semester at Georgia State University. In spite of working at the university over this past summer, I chose not to commute using the train. Initial reason was to get in shape. I bicycled, walked, even ran to work sometimes. After a couple of weeks, however, addition of a second job - about 20 miles from GSU - on my daily to-do list, prohibited the possibility of foot or public transport, leaving the sole alternative: burning petroleum every single day of the week. And so I did, for the next eight months, until December 1, 2009.

Ever since my decision to move to the heart of Midtown Atlanta - Intersection of Peachtree Street and Ponce De Leon Avenue - I had been excited about walking to everywhere! However, after the initiation of the Daily Fuel-Burn program, I started driving to everywhere! Even if I had to go a few blocks to Tenth and Piedmont, or even worse, two blocks to North Ave and Piedmont!

Thus, four days ago, on the first day of the last month of the last year of the first decade of this second millennium a.d., after several months of procrastinating the application of this idea, I decided to again start using Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority (MARTA) for all my in-town commutes.

Happy to announce: I am now a Green Commuter. And with this mother nature love comes the free tool of just enough alone time to get in touch with one's inside nature, to keep it in check and make sure it's getting enough music, podcast listening, and reading time.

Signing off,

-Happy Soul, oh yeah...

Soberld

2009-11-23T04:00:00.001-05:00

This weekend was primarily nasha free and the results are worth boasting about. Instead of [a lot of] alcohol, consumed warm water with a hint of mint and caffeine. In spite of sleeping at five in the morning, woke up fifteen minutes before eleven and didn't even mildly feel guilty about it. Oh, and was up before eight on Saturday. Ecstatic, yes, very much so.

Besides these trivial yet exciting achievements, I ended up accomplishing, or rather doing, various things instead of lazily laying limp. Saturday began with the Enrollment Day at the Art Institute.

Disclosure: I've switched school and the area of study after wasting four years and [let me not mention how] much money at Georgia State. All this while, I was trying to figure out what to do, never feeling a hundred percent sure about anything. One fine summer night - late night - I realized I had blocked out the only thing that could make me happy, that made me happy all throughout high school - Design. Past eight years of my life came rushing back, helping me make sense of everything that had and had not happened. Parents, of course, aren't happy with the fact that their daughter, eldest of the two idiots they've raised, is twenty-two and still only has a high school diploma. Back when I lacked dedication and couldn't find direction, the same bothered me too. Now, I'm content with where I'm headed and the decision I've made.

-Future User Experience/Interface Designer

Had yet another question-answer, explain-my-stand session with dad at and after the Ai event. It has been going on for some time with successive failures. I don't see my arguments making sense to him until my actions start shaping my career. Which is understandable and thus - I've concluded - discussions are worth avoiding for the time being.

Moving on. With little, not so important, details in between - snacking at Chatpati after several years, putting a check mark next to "buy art supplies", late night, lighted up, chilly Atlantic Station walk, making french toast for breakfast, getting some money-bringing work done - lunch at Varasano's Pizzeria and Amy Schumer at the Punchline Comedy Club deserve ovation.

Varasano's is a fairly new joint, with only salads, pizzas, and desserts on their food menu. That's probably the reason why they excel at what little they offer. From the first sip of Death In the Afternoon - Champagne and Absinthe with a sugar cube - and the first bite of Nucci - Garlic, Olives & Emmenthaler finished with Arugula, Mushrooms & Herbs - to the last drop and crumb finding it's way out of the glass, off of the place into my mouth & beyond, the entire experience was heavenly. As soon as I first sipped, chewed, and swallowed, I was talking about my next visit to this pizzeria. If you're in Atlanta and you haven't been here yet, please allow me to accompany you :) (no, it ain't on me, we'll split the bill).

Sunday outing came to an end with comedian Amy Schumer performing at the Punchline in Dunwoody. I'm not into stand-up comedy, but I'm open to exploring if the event is free (deal tweets, peeps). Had been to a show once before, at the same location, and didn't enjoy it at all. Today, however, not hearing something - as a result of prolonged laughter - made me want to rewind the live show. That's all I gotta say. Good night folks, you've been a great audience!

Geetali to GTalli, and back...

2009-11-19T15:00:00.001-05:00

Drinking and getting drunk seem to go hand in hand for amateurs and college students. When, in January 2006, I was introduced to the wonderful world of liquor, I did the same - drink and get drunk. Did it for the next three years and ten months. Always hating the morning after... not recalling details of intriguing conversations held, disgusted by dry aftertaste in mouth, feeling tired, needing sleep.

Yet, I continued to drink and get drunk (and was soon nicknamed GTalli). It made me feel free, it helped me say things I wouldn't have otherwise. Things I really did want to say, but had reservations about how the receiver might take it. When drunk, people's feelings didn't matter, sharing a fact or an observation or a deep feeling - no matter how depressing, embarrassing, or naked - seemed the most important.

Things have changed now. I don't want to be out of control anymore (probably 'cause the "amateur" label needs to go). I don't want to share my thoughts with everyone (if I do share, I want to take full responsibility and not hide behind alcohol). I don't not want to remember the discussions (they're beautiful and I want to build upon them). I don't want to waste nights and days chugging like an idiot and sleeping like a dog (there's so much to do, so much to see, why waste at all).

So far, I have been able to come up with ways that help me savor. Beer is the easiest, you can't have a lot of it. Reached a surprising achievement with martini as well, when I self-learned to "hold the drink" on Friday, November 13th at Raesh's. But last night, with Macallan and Jager, didn't go as well. Excuse: It was Punti's birthday, but c'mon! Realized that these drinks were so smooth that they just hit me out of nowhere. They didn't taste nasty, they didn't feel weird, and thus I was [partially] gone, quickly. Promotion from cheap to classy may take a while to get used to. But I'm willing and learning!

Good bye binge drinking.

iWorship Apple

2009-08-25T19:57:00.001-04:00

I bought the long awaited 13-inch MacBook Pro - better known as, mehbook - on July 30, 2009 with a 32 GB iPod Touch for mother. In store, paid $1498 - $1099 for mehbook + $399 for the Touch - and zilch tax (GA Tax free weekend). iTouch was to cost $170 after a mail-in rebate.

Yippy! Oh wait, SHIT.

Mail-in rebate is a term I dread and love at the same time. Love it because of the discount. Hate it because of the intense, head scratching, tear shedding paperwork. It is one of the many things that deepens my belief of businesses not giving a shit, and sucking the individual up to a point of frustration and dismissal.

That's why Apple's rebate process surprised the fuck outta me!

1) Go to http://www.apple.com/promo

2) Click on Submit Your Claim.

3) Sign in using your Apple ID.

4) Enter your contact information.

5) Enter purchase information.

6) Submit.

That is it! And with in ten-days of submitting this super easy, self-explainatory form, I receive the following email.

Yes, I am an Apple Worshipper. This is an example why.

Girl Love

2009-08-25T01:50:00.001-04:00

Following a tiring weekend, I did make it to work this Monday morning; only thirty minutes late. After a long time, I enjoyed working. Partly because I was constantly busy, mostly because training is starting to set in and unknowns are slowly disappearing. Though being diligent the entire time, minus salad and tea breaks, my low voice and slow movements were screaming for rest.

After reaching home, I spent an hour feeding my body and senses with bread/hummus and Super News before setting an alarm for a thirty minute nap at 5:15 PM, which upon going off was extended for another thirty minutes, and then another. The last leg of the "nap", however, was cut short when all three of my roommates walked in with a tiny envelope, smiling excitedly. I returned their "hi" with half open eyes and slightly lifting my hand. In a split second my eyes were shut again, and a questioning "hmm" sound escaped from somewhere. I don't exactly remember what happened between that "hmm" and the envelope finding it's way into my hand, but after reading the words "Belated Happy B'day Geetali. From Nithya, Kritika, Ruchika" I kept on repeating the words "What The Hell!" Couldn't think of anything else to vocalize my dumbfoundedness (if that is a word). Not even when Nithya exclaimed, "What, what the hell?!" To my surprise, I answered her by saying, "No, I don't mean what the hell, but I mean, WHAT THE HELL!" :)

Inside the envelope was a Macy's gift card. I have been asked to go buy something and show it around before it finds its way into my closet.

Totally unexpected! Totally awesome!

Weekly Summer

2009-08-18T03:05:00.005-04:00

Summer's over. It was long and busy. Lot's happened. One thing, however, did not - Blog.

In spite of telling, requesting, ordering myself to write, hoping to again start doing something that I enjoy, I just never sat down to gather my thoughts and type. Time certainly was an issue: there were instances when I slept for only four hours a day, for several days. There were moments, when I didn't have time to think, must less remember the to-do list. There were mornings when I left home before six-am and nights when I didn't return until after midnight, many times in a single twenty-four hour span.

So yeah, the summer was long and busy, a lot happened. I learned. I grew. Visited home a lot. Worked my ass off. Walked in the sun. Knocked on doors. Counted furniture. Delivered pizzas. Drank. Smoked. Ran. Biked. Lost weight. Ate six meals a day. Made my first gay friends. Kissed my first lesbian girl. Started dressing well. Gave away food. Listened to symphonies. Bought my second MAC. Saw Paul McCartney. Learned stick shift driving. Drove a convertible. Got my first speeding ticket. Went to sleep by the pool side. Talked to a lot of people. Read. Listened. Appreciated. Changed.

And decided, to finally put my decision into effect, of writing, something substantial, at least once a week. I probably will start with a few of the many, many stories I have from the summer. Now that I think about it, 2009 may have been the best summer yet, since 2004, and it deserves to be shared.

Next post: in seven days, or less.

IITians/Techies Launch Website

2009-03-17T00:22:00.002-04:00

Neel and Punit, both IITians who came to the US to further their education at Georgia Tech, are now working at Capital One (Richmond, VA) and Endeavor Telecom (Atlanta, GA), respectively. They were roommates at one point and shared the dream of starting a business some day. Not necessarily together, but yea.. being their own boss - be it on the side - was something they craved dearly.

Not long ago, Neel had an idea about creating a site that compares stock websites (websites where you purchase stocks). This way, instead of individuals doing their own research, this website - Compare Broker - does the work for them. I remember, driving down to Richmond on the July 4th '08 weekend so that the two could discuss this idea further and start working on it. I also remember, how many times Punit decided to skip social settings just to continue to work on this. And wah-la.. in about eight months the idea has been converted into a website that is up and running - www.comparebroker.com. It has only recently been launched and is in the early stages of generating traffic for Google indexing. So please, don't be thrown off yet :). A blog has also been setup so the users know what's new with Compare Broker. Being in a fast pace social networking environment, the owners decided to set up a Twitter account as well, so if you tweet do follow @comparebroker.

I know the owners personally and am proud of the hard work they're putting in. Do check out their site and feel free to provide input. It'll reach them, I promise! :D

Atithi Devo Bhava (A Guest is a Reflection of God)

2009-02-12T20:05:00.007-05:00

A lot has been going on since November 2008. I guess, it all began from and [in a way] was a result of the India trip.

I finally got a chance to visit India after 7 years, 3 months, and 10 days. I left India in 2001 and hadn't been back since. For the first 4 or 5 years I really missed the life I had back home, after that I think I lost all hope and just let it be. Forcing myself to believe that everything was in the past and didn't matter anymore. But this belief - of making peace with the circumstances and moving on - was shattered completely when on the evening of November 13, 2008 I checked in my baggage, cleared security, boarded flight NW8622, buckled myself in, and tweeted the following:

Sitting in seat 37J. 15 more minutes till departure. I AM GOING TO INDIA! Seems unreal.

Yes, I was immensely excited and whole heartedly looking forward to go on bumpy rides in small cars, zig-zag through traffic while sitting on a motorcycle, inhale large amounts of car exhaust, go hours without electricity at a time, ride in a whole lot of public modes of transportation, eat street side food, haggle for everything with everyone, being proactive for the littlest things - be it crossing the road in traffic or buying something in a crowded place where the concept of lines did not exist. I wanted to meet people and visit places that used to be a part of me. Family, friends, neighbors, teachers, home, school, local markets, temples, parks, everything! I wanted to re-see everything.

However, at the same time, I somehow did not have any expectations with anyone or anything. I've known for some time that I despise the word and the concept of expectation. But I, Geetali, actually practicing non-expectation-ness and not being a hypocrite was realized in full swing in India, probably during the last week. Whole idea of zero expectations, having nothing on the agenda, and just going with the flow is probably what made the trip so full of surprises and an ultimate memorable experience.

Overall, my 5-6 weeks in India were Amazing! Rewarding. Refreshing. Energizing. Full of fun, laughter, appreciation, respect, conversations, realizations. I enjoyed each and every second spent with each and everyone. I was amazed by how happy people were to see me and spend time with me. Their willingness to get to know me and efforts of helping me out with transportation and planning my whereabouts, left me with nothing but appreciation and respect and love. The people who swept me off my feet came from every city I visited and every group I met. Several people left me spellbound and I think their actions changed me in a way. I can't help but continue to feel that the Geetali that landed in India was not the same Geetali that left India.

The last week, I saw myself doing things that I would never have done before. I cancelled plans with friends to spend time with family. Given that I wasn't in Delhi forever and obviously felt more comfortable with people my own age, I can't help but go WTF! when I think I blew off friends to spend time with my father's siblings. But I did it. And I enjoyed it. When nani asked me a question the night before my return flight - the same question that left me furious several weeks ago - I listened to her, inside me a throbbing realization that she's concerned because she cares; I answered calmly, logically, maturely. The very next second - after 1) Deciding to spend time with family and not friends. and 2) Answering nani's question - I thought back to what I had just done. I sat there, amazed and proud, with the hopes of never going back to the person I was 5-6 weeks ago.

I believed in some things before but while in India I saw those in practice and they made me an even stronger believer. Little things that sometimes don't even require a lot of extra effort can make someone feel so special and appreciated. Being welcoming and treating people nicely equally rewards both the receiver and the provider. Memory is a great fuckin' tool and if you remember the right thing, you can make a person feel week in her knees.

My prep grade teacher - from SEVENTEEN years ago - remembered my name, face, my parents' occupations, and my younger sibling. Damn!

One of my grandmother's colleagues was shocked that I specially came to see her. The kiss that she landed on my forehead and the blessings she gave me with both her hands placed on my head were more than enough to convey her emotions.

Friends alternating their daily schedules to sync with mine, traveling with me within or out of city, and making me feel so much at home made me realize that in some cases distance and time doesn't really matter.

Three different groups of relatives willing to take me to the airport the night of my flight. Either trying to get rid of me asap :) ...or trying to make sure I'm comfortable throughout. Seriously, I don't know what to say.

Yeah, India was Amazing! But, India didn't feel like home anymore. At every step I was reminded that I'm an outsider, a visitor, a non-resident. For the first two weeks I felt like a complete alien. The moment my flight touched base with Atlanta, I looked out the window and thought, "Back to work!"

India was a vacation, not home. Now, I really have come to terms with it.

Ab Dilli Door Nahi (Delhi Ain't Too Far No More)

2008-11-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

November 13, 2008. Have been eagerly waiting for this day since October 24 when I booked my round trip to India. Six week travel starts today, at 5:25pm (EST). Too excited! It has been more than 7 years since I was in India last. Looking forward to meet everyone! Have been getting up in the middle of night for the past two days and looking around to figure out if I'm there already :P

So far, my schedule looks pretty busy. Landing on 14th midnight.. will be 1-2a by the time I step out of the airport. Leaving for Shimla with grandparents the same morning. Return on 19th, with 20-21 in Delhi.. when I hopefully go to Pragati Maidan to attend a Trade Fair with school friends. Flying to Hydrabad sometime in the evening of 21st. Nothing planned after that, but hopefully I'll also visit Pune and Mumbai to visit family and friends on my way back to Delhi. After that, Dilli and UP!

So mostly, travel all over. Just have my fingers crossed that I don't get sick. Any pointers?

White Rings

2008-08-18T17:57:00.005-04:00

I think it has been long due and it's finally time to stop holding a small white stick between my fingers and bringing it to my lips repeatedly. It's time to kiss good bye cigarettes.

I tried my first sutta back in early 2006. Hated it. And continued to hate it until summer 2007 when out of boredom and having a lot of free time at hand, I started smoking away in the afternoons. I would specially walk home from work, smoke one, thoroughly wash my hands and brush my teeth, pop a gum in my mouth and walk back. During the fall semester I started going to the gym, and there came a point when just smelling them from a distance would drive me nuts, I had to hold my breath whenever I walked by someone inhaling and exhaling that poisonous smoke. Soon, lazy-ness came over me, I quit gym and by December the poisonous stick found its way back into my mouth. It wasn't until April 20, 2008 that I decided to kick back for good, as a 21st year resolution to myself (note: I turned 21 on April 22 '08). Good for one month, fighting back the urge, this time I didn't have gym to support my lungs, and within a month my mind said, "ah, what the heck..." and I gave in.

Now, it's mid August 2008... and trust me when I tell you, no more white rings. At least not when there's no liquor in my body. That makes 85% of the week. Ah, only if there weren't no Fridays.

I think I'm in Love...

2008-02-12T00:39:00.001-05:00

...with someone on television!

No other love, darlin' I'm flyin'.
No, no other love, darlin' I'm flyin'.
And I can go, I can go anywhere.
No other love can take me there.
-"No Other Love" by Heart

Jennifer Beals came into my life as Bette Porter - one of the characters on the series "The L Word". I won't hesitate in saying, I'm obsessed with her. Her eyes, her lips, her teeth, her smile, her body, her figure, her hands, her fingers, her expressions, her [fictional] life on [The L Word], her scenes, her dialogues, her, her, her... fuck.

YouTube is where I spend a lot of my time these days, watching and re-watching and continuously watching her scenes in TLW. The way she embraces and pulls and kisses the other person, the way she looks at her lover in the middle of kisses or a love scene, the way she smiles when in love, leaves me weak in my knees. Thinking too much about her, which has become too difficult not to do for some reason, always results in a sigh and a fuck! out my mouth, space between my lips, and her in my eyes :)

FUCK!

Three Weeks...

2007-12-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

3 airport visits
1 arrival, 2 departures
2 vacations, 1 for good
4 adults, 1 infant
8 huge luggage's, 7 carry ons
a lot of hugs, a bit of sentiments
...and then, they were gone...

Mood: Sound of Silence, lyrics here.

Dhan Dhana Dhan DHOKHA

2007-12-04T23:34:00.001-05:00

Just sat through Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal. I had seen bad ratings, but read one good review. Would have watched it nonetheless, but the review made me look forward to it. However, I was very, very disappointed. The review was a dhokha and the film was a pain!

The bottom-line is, there really was no buildup. Okay, we get it this bankrupt football club needs to win a championship, and 30 Million British Pounds in order to save their club from being sold to some builder. BUT, at least try to show how in the freakin' world this team of fatties lacking practice or any good players goes on to win a championship! According to Boman Irani, the team's coach, they had to win 30 matches. I only saw three, played against the SAME TEAM - Aston!

John 'hot body' Abraham, plays for Aston when the film starts, randomly comes to this South Hall (fatties) Team, signs a contract with some other team in the middle of the movie, and then comes back to SH to play the championship game. WTF!

This Bangladeshi guy ends up crying in every scene because no one gives a damn about his team. Apparently, he came to UK just to play for South Hall.

For an unknown reason, the viewers are made aware of the sad little detail that Arshad Warsi and his wife do not have any children. In the middle of the movie, for no apparent reason, the wife becomes pregnant (no sex scene either!). How did she become pregnant? An affair, I'm sure, because Warsi is always playing football or entertaining his fatty friends, whom the wife despises. Anyways, so by the end the little bastard is born, named after the HERO of the film - J 'hot body' A - after all he's the only one who knows how to really play this 'pao hila gend uda khel'. The film, finally, comes to an end after every single damn individual gets his bloody photo clicked with the little bastard, even the team mates who never had a single dialogue, but could be scene in the background every now and then.

Unless the version I saw was significantly cut and lacking major parts of the movie, this was a total waste of time!

Let's F*ck Baby!

2007-12-03T00:21:00.000-05:00

Both Russian and US scientists are out there researching the best positions for sex in zero gravity, in space.

The issue of sex in space is a serious one.

Hmm. Sexual satisfaction is pretty important, I guess. But what about single men and women who go on long missions, do they also get to have sex? With colleagues? (Question raised because they only mention 'married couples' in the article).

People have differing opinions on whether or not Sex is important in a relationship or marriage. There are virgin married couples out there, living happily together. And there are people who switch partners like they change clothes. What's your take on sex? Its importance in a relationship? Or its need for a healthy growth of a relationship, or an individual?

November 2007

2007-12-01T22:35:00.000-05:00

1 month
4 weekends

5 destinations

6+ interstates

42+ driving hours

and whole lot of masti!

Children's Sight

2007-11-14T14:23:00.001-05:00

Do you usually smile when you see a little kid? Why? (Or why not?)

a) The kid is cute.
b) He/She reminds you of your childhood days.
c) You're just used to smiling when seeing a kid.
d) The parent/guardian looks at you, and you're forced to smile.
e) The kid looks at you, you want to give him/her a good impression.
f) Everybody does it! It's a natural law.

Thank you for your answers. Please add something else if you wish.

Happy Children's Day!

Wikipedia in Bhojpuri

2007-10-30T10:03:00.000-04:00

Surprised? Well, check this out!

P for...

2007-07-02T12:37:00.000-04:00

Pleasant - The weekend stay up in Charlotte, North Carolina at Ritu Masi's. I was there hardly for a Saturday. The other two days - Friday and Saturday - were spent traveling. The journey is only 4 hours one way, but let's just say...

Public Transportation - sucks! I took Greyhound both ways. And I was nothing less than...

Pissed - My bus was supposed to leave at 8 AM on Friday. I arrived on time at the station, had my ticket in hand, was waiting patiently. 7:50, 7:55, 8:00, 8:10, 8:20 - no word about the bus. I finally go up to the counter to find out what's happening, only to discover the bus left! WTF... I had to wait another 3.5 hours to catch the next bus. A new issue while returning. The bus I was to board was overbooked! Had to wait another 1 hour.

Pathetic - Greyhound toilets. I had to...

Pee - but I couldn't. While going to Charlotte, I only had to hold it for about 2-3 hours. But I set a new record on my way back - six long hours of bladder control.

Let's talk about happy things now....
Phenomenal - Ritu Masi's new house. Huge kitchen, spacious rooms, a mandir that can hold 30-40 people easily, nice neighborhood, beautiful lake view from every angle of the house, HDTVs (yes, multiple HD TVs), nice furniture, what not! Oh, and 900+ TV channels. Hmm...

Back to my own reality now...
Psyched - that's too strong a word, but still I'll use it (for the heck of 'P for...') to describe my emotions about an NYC trip, coming up in 2 days. Leaving Tuesday evening, returning Sunday. Driving.

Maa Tujhe Salaam! - II

2007-05-24T18:54:00.000-04:00

Figured out something after 12-14 years.

While standing in the balcony, I saw a kid-mom combo strolling around the apartment complex. The next thing I see, the mother is running and the kid is trying to catch her. Reminded me of my bachpan. We - Mom, Hansag, and I - used to do the same. And just like this kid today, Hansag and I could never catch mom either. It never made sense to me back then. I mean, she's a MOTHER for god's sake! How can she be fast and tricky and all. She used to tire us out, ending up winning herself.

But today, the mystery unfolded in front of my eyes. It's pretty simple, I don't know why it never made sense to me back then. Well, adults are taller and can cover a greater distance with just one leap. DUH! One adult step, equals two or three kid steps. It always made sense to me when walking, but not when running. Reason? Simple. You walk beside your parents... but don't run beside them in a park, when playing.

Another Salaam goes out to the Birthday Woman (IST)!

Shock-E-Awe

2007-05-16T12:53:00.000-04:00

What's the news?
My black eye.

Cool, a Black Eye! How'd you get it?
Fell in the bathtub, hit something around the end of the left eyebrow.

Is it bad?
Not really. I couldn't open that eye for the first two days. It did look pretty scary for the first two days. So bad, I had to wear an eye batch. Pirate style ;)

Nice pirate touch. Does it hurt?
Well it looks like it hurts a lot, but honestly it does not hurt at all.

Is everything cool?
Cooler than ever. I can still see through the eye, there were no stitches involved, no medication either. Neither for the swelling, nor for the big red clot I have in the eye. The doctor just suggested applying ice.

Blood clot?!
Yeah, it's a huge one. It's like my eye has 3 colors now - White, Black, and Red. Although it has been there for a week and a half now, the sight of it still scares me sometimes.

Oh my god, are you sure it'll go away?
I understand it can be hard to believe doctors, who knows if they're lying to cheer you up, to not upset you. But for some reason, I trust doctors like they're a species of deities. Well, doctor uncle said the eye will be back to normal in a few weeks, and I - considering him one of the highest powers in town - believe him. On the other hand, if my thobda does not go back to being the stupid thing it was earlier, somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!

Poor baby!
Yes, I know :( ...thanks for feeling so very sorry for me. I absolutely needed it!

Maa Tujhe Salaam!

2007-05-16T04:38:00.000-04:00

Seeing Tripty and Siya today reminded me of Mom. The way Tripty was playing with her little daughter, and the way Siya was enjoying everything her mom was doing. From playing drums on Siya's back, to tickling her until she couldn't laugh anymore. From giving her enough time to catch on her breath, to doing the round-circles-on-hand followed by fingers-running-up-the-arm to make the excited Siya laugh a little more.

Of course, I don't remember any such playful moments from eighteen years ago, when I was two. But I can bet on my life - literally - that I had several of those. Make that numerous. Countless actually!

I remember when Hansag and I were old enough to start building memories for a lifetime. Back then they didn't seem so beautiful, or something to hold on to... but now, unfortunately, they're all I have left.

This is something that happened probably everyday around second or third grade. Our bedtime was something around 8 PM (or maybe 7, who knows).. but neither Hansag or I could fall asleep that early. To pass time we used to talk, or have a fighting match on the bed (the bed being the ring), or call in mom every five minutes and ask her for a glass of water. After drinking every drop, we'd ask for more. Two glasses were more than enough to make our tummies feel full again. So, we'd just stand up on the bed and hug and kiss her for several minutes. It must have appeared silly to her, at least it does to me now. What a silly way to pass time, to avoid sleeping, to talk a little more, to have an excuse for not waking up on time the next morning. Yet, a beautiful memory. A silly childhood routine, turned into something I often think about.

Wooden Monsters

2007-05-16T01:31:00.000-04:00

Check this out.

last.fm

2007-05-12T14:59:00.001-04:00

I listen to music a lot. Used to play Bollywood stuff all the time, but now I'm extremely bored with that. Have started listening to angrezi sangeet (finally!). Like a few bands.

Discovered last.fm and iScrobbler through iusethis in mid April. Have been scrobbling ever since then. Came across a number of bands due to last.fm - Beck, Incubus, Spoon - by checking out what my friends and neighbors listen to. It's a cool little tool if one's into discovering new stuff and willing to check out other people's interests.

The 'recently played' list is available on the sidebar of the blog (is that what it's called? hmm...) as well.

twentieth 'dhoom'

2007-04-25T17:24:00.000-04:00

चलो, इतना तो पता चल गया कि in order to type and see हिन्दी on screen, I need to use Firefox on Windows. Or, soon figure out how to fix this thing on my Mac.

I haven't yet shared my birthday adventures on this blog yet; am wondering if I should.

Well, I turned 20 this past Sunday on April 22, 2007. I don't get excited about any holiday, I actually hate days like Diwali, Holi, New Years etc... when people take a hiatus from normal life, and end up emailing, scrapping, snail-mailing everybody they know, even people they haven't talked to in years - except on these special occasions. I believe all these are a waste of time, money and energy. Yet, there's one day that comes every 365 days, when I go crazy. I have no idea why I do that, can't find a logical explanation. All I can say is - I go crazy on my birthday!

This year too was a lot of fun. I did some pretty नौटंकी-like stuff. You know, the usual me.

Can't share a whole lot, but the highlights are - I went clubbing, and there it was full of धूम!

Blogger in हिन्दी

2007-04-24T16:59:00.001-04:00

Saw this on my Blogger Dashboard today.

और हम भी शुरू हो गए मामू!
Thanks to Anupama and Nitin.

The only problem is that Safari doesn't support the editing toolbar and therefore I need to use Firefox or Camino to be able to type in Hindi.

Another problem, I can't see what I'm typing in either Firefox or Camino because the Unicode is not recognizing the Devanagari Script. So, I only see question marks.

Need to try Opera next.

Should I Laugh? or Cry? or go 'WOW!'?

2007-04-23T15:49:00.000-04:00

I think, I'm mad about this!

2007-04-19T17:00:00.000-04:00

I don't know about others, but I hate reading news, specially long articles. I believe news should be two paragraphs at max.

I really like those write-ups which cover everything they have to say in 10-15 sentences. A full page article giving details, quoting people, and then describing the professions of those people for a half page are really annoying. In addition to that, there are news pieces that spread over several pages. What's up with that? I understand the need for details, but then I also understand the need for quick update.

All news websites should probably adopt the BBC style - a summary of the article before one gets into reading a 10 minute text.

PS: Got a call from Bhai Jaan. Schernekau - my 12th grade English teacher - has requested the satire I wrote for her class, she wants to use it as an example. After two years, when I read it again... it makes me laugh! That was the initial intention as well. Though, I still wonder if I was too harsh :-? Schernekau scribbeled only a few words on top of my paper - 'I think I'm mad about this' - the grade I received - a perfect 100 :) - along with that piece being published in the school magazine.

inLove

2007-04-18T17:19:00.001-04:00

Intimacy, originally uploaded by idogu.

hosh waalo ko khabar kya, bekhudi kya cheez hai
ishq keeje, phir samajhiye, zindagi kya cheez hai!

unse nazarein kya mili, roshan fizaayein ho gayi
aaj jaana pyaar ki, jaadugari kya cheez hai!

khulti zulfo ne sikhaayi, mausamo ko shaayari
jhukti aankho ne bataaya, mehkashi kya cheez hai!

hum labo se keh na paaye, unse haal-e-dil kabhi
aur vo samjhe nahi , ye khaamoshi kya cheez hai!

-from Marasim...
written by Gulzar; sung by Jagjit Singh

Farewell.

2007-04-16T16:51:00.002-04:00

enough is enough! 2, originally uploaded by urline.

zindagi khaab hai tha humein bhi pata
par humein zindagi se bahut pyaar tha
sukh bhi the, dukh bhi the, dil ko ghere hue
chaahe jaisa tha, rangeen sansaar tha
chand din tha basera humaara yahaan
hum bhi mehmaan the, ghar to us paar tha
humsafar ek din to bichhadna hi tha
alvida, alvida, alvida kehna hi tha

-Mukesh's Song.

Shady Shaadi

2007-04-12T20:03:00.001-04:00

Listen to Gudgudee and Jaagte Raho. Two feel-good (and the only songs worth listening to) from the recent bollywood flick Just Married. Usually, I like Pritam's compositions. Lately, he hasn't been so amazing.

As per the 2+ hour film, it was nice. The end, however, ruined the whole thing. The writer could have thought of something else. Hell, after reading the script or at least when editing the stupid thing somebody should have said something!

On another note, how rational was it for the director to name the movie 'Just Married'? It's hard enough to find it on IMDb since in 2003 Ashton Kutcher's romantic comedy was released by the same name. Plus, there are a thousand other Just Married's on there.

SINGeet

2007-04-09T16:18:00.001-04:00

powered by ODEO

Closed eyes. Light creases on the forehead. The 'bindi' area applying its gravitational force on eyes and the creases. Neck moving slighty around allowing the head to lightly wobble. A humming sound generating from the throat, finding its way out the nostrils. Lips moving apart, giving way to voice.

dil ke mere paas ho itne
phir bhi ho kitni door
tum mujhse, main dil se pareshaan
dono hain majboor
aise mein kisko kaun manaaye
din dhal jaaye haaye, raat na jaaye
tu to naa aaye, teri yaad sataaye

:)

I like Mohammad Rafi's voice and songs as well.
Lyricists are awesome people.
Music Composers are even better (sometimes).

I Have a Dream

2007-04-07T14:54:00.000-04:00

There was a time - 6 or so years ago in 8th grade, to be precise - when I wanted to become a Radio Jockie (RJ).

I thought I had a good voice.
A voice people would like to hear.
A voice that'll move listeners.
A voice that could do miracles.

Blah, Shit, Crap!

This was in part because back in Xavier's, I ended up being the MC - Master of Ceremony - for a number of assemblies (both Class and Common assemblies).
[definitions of both...
Class Assembly is when one's section presents in front of their subgroup, example Junior or Senior school.
Common Assembly is when the entire school is present at one location. Classes ranging from Prep to 12th grade. These are done on occassions like Gandhi Jayanti etc.]

Many times, my classmates would vote for me to be the MC. And once the job was done, people - friends, classmates, teachers, even strangers would come to me and say 'that was amazing!' This made me believe I had a good voice. A voice people would like to hear. A voice that'll move listeners. A voice that could do miracles. Blah, Shit, Crap!

The reason I'm writing this is because, somewhere inside I still want to do that - become an RJ. Not until I retire of course, but for a while. It'd be fun. I want to hear myself on the Radio.

GSU has it's own station WRAS88.5 FM. The entire Atlanta area gets it. And, I wish to be on it someday.

Good Evening Atlanta...

Mukesh

2007-04-05T17:04:00.001-04:00

I feel sorry for myself.
I believe you should too.
Why?
Because...
Because, I like Mukesh.
Mukesh, the singer!
Yes, I like Mukesh the singer.

Then why am I sorry?
Why should you be sorry?
Because...
Because, I like Mukesh.
And, because...
Mukesh is amazing.
And, because...
I discovered the amazingness of:
Mukesh,
His Voice,
His Songs,
His Pain...
a little too late.
Too Late, I say... Too Late!

Why Late?
Why do I say, Too Late?
Well, because...
Because, it is late. Too late, I say.
Too Late.

I wish, I wish, I wish.
I wish, I had known him before.
I wish, I had listened to him before.
I wish, I had discovered him before.
I wish too many things, I know.
But, really! I really wish I had...

Before you ask me 'Why?'
I'll tell you 'Why?'

I listened to many stupid sad bollywood songs
in an era.
In an era, now gone,
Left behind, fogotten.
But I'll remember it always.
Remember it because,
I didn't have Mukesh back then.

Oh, it would have been an experience.
An experience, better than the one I had...
only, only if I had known Mukesh.
Known Mukesh back then!

I know.
I know, I need to answer 'Why?'

It was a time
of
Life.
of
Love.
of
Pain.

Something, Mukesh would have made better.
Just by being there.

Oh, What Fun it is to Ride...

2007-03-29T12:08:00.000-04:00

...a curvy handled two wheeler!

Now, that summer (or, spring - whatever) is here, I've finally shed all the excessive clothing that I desperately need during the winter months. With this new season and change of weather, a new thrill, a new activity, a new passion has also entered my life - bicycling!

Riding a bike is one thing, all kids (or at least, most) enjoy this activity during the evening hours of their school days on roads, or in parks, or in neighborhoods, or in driveways. I too enjoyed it as a youngster. Racing with friends, counting laps, even going to the neighborhood market to get bread or milk (in India, of course) for household needs. In US, however, I did not have the pleasure of riding and riding like I was having fun, like there was nothing else I would do, or anything I would trade that hour of bonding with my bike for anything. Every time I would see someone on a cycle I would crave for just ek chakkar (one ride). My parents even bought a cycle, but I did not enjoy it as much. I went on road trips and rented bikes, yet it wasn't as satisfying... as today.

Today, I rode through Atlanta. Not on the pavement (or, sidewalks) as I had been doing for the past several days, but on the streets of Atlanta next to the cars and trucks who were going at 35, 45, and even 55 miles/hour. And today, I was happy, excited, thrilled, satisfied, proud, an achiever! Today, I felt like going on forever, not stopping for anything. Today, I had a new energy, for something I truly loved, and continue to love. Today, I've become a cyclist, once again!

On my way to greater rides...
Hail the bike Lords!

Breakfast in America

2007-01-31T01:35:00.000-05:00

No matter which fast food place one decides to enter before 11 AM to fill up their hungry tummy, what one gets is not unique to any specific restaurant. Be it McDonald's, Subway, or Dunkin' Donuts the Breakfast Menu is the same everywhere in America!

Buttered or Chicken Biscuits
Waffles or Pancakes
Eggs, Omelet
Coffee, Milk, Juice

There is no variety. Nothing to look forward to or get excited about. Certainly not a chance of jumping up and down with a smiling face upon the discovery of the absolute need to have breakfast in some fast food restaurant. When there are so many fast food places in America that serve variety of things from burgers, to sandwiches, to tacos and burritos during the normal hours, why can't they come up with something creative for the early hours of the day? Something that closely matches their regular menu?

More companies need to be Apple like ...and... 'Think Different'.

Sexed-Up Semester

2007-01-19T10:47:00.001-05:00

No, I'm not having a lot of sex this semester, neither watching a lot of sexually erotic movies, nor dressing up in sexy clothes. Instead, I'm taking a Sociology course titled 'Sexuality and Society'. They don't teach us when, how, where to approach someone for sex, neither do they teach us about the various positions, nor the art of achieving orgasm. Instead, we study how sexuality is shaped by society, how it differs from culture-to-culture and time-to-time, and what are some serious issues we're facing today.

So far, I really like the course. I'm learning things that never even crossed my mind, and also things that I wanted to know about but never got serious enough to google.

For example: Did you know... Vibrators were originally invented as a health aid. Until the early 1900s, women who had high sexual desire were believed to be mentally ill. Vibrators, before which doctors used to manually rid of a women's sexual desire (please imagine what that might mean), were used as a tool to calm a woman's sexual desire.

Another Example: Did you know... Intersexed individuals go through a genital correction surgery soon after birth (in America). The treatment continues well into childhood and sometimes even during the teenage years. This leaves the individual with scarred genitals which hurt, and (s)he also looses the reproductive ability. If a male child is surgically made a female (this might be needed when a child looses his penis due to a disease or accidentally), the parents must insert some kind of object into the vaginal opening every single day so that the opening doesn't close.

There's a lot of learn in this class. But I probably won't be writing much about it because, 'society' - dear readers - doesn't allow 'open discussion' of such matters. And I'm pretty sure, some of the people who read this particular post would say - 'What kind of a person is Geetali? Plus, she's a female! Girls should have decency and should not go out running around talking about sex. She's crazy!' ...My response: 'I don't give a damn about how I'm supposed to be.'

Dhoom 2

2006-11-24T23:09:00.001-05:00

Saw the movie yesterday. Going in, I did not have a lot of expectations. Reason? The promos looked amazing and everybody was extra hyped about the movie. Coming out, I wanted to see it once again!

Hrithik definitely looks amazing in the movie. I've never liked his looks, until now. Aishwarya looks alright - I didn't pay too much attention to her - but she does have that 'I'm better than everyone' attitude. Didn't like her too much. Abhishek is just as before. Nothing different or extra-ordinary about him. Uday is funnier than before. Can't act, is there only for the jokes, but does a good job. Bipasha doesn't have much of a role, but I liked her in the second half.

Benizishi!

2006-11-22T14:36:00.000-05:00

Song: Leja Leja Mera Dil
Film: An Evening in Paris
Leads: Shammi Kapoor, Sharmila Tagore

I absolutely love this song ever since the day I first saw it. Tagore doesn't have any terrific dance steps, yet the song is an 'item number'. And I just love the way she say's 'my name is suzie' ... makes me laugh everytime!

Doogtoons

2006-11-15T16:07:00.000-05:00

After recently discovering the awesome world of Podcasts, I've been downloading a number of these using iTunes. I am a fan of Video Podcasts, because I often get distracted when listening to Audio.

These days, I religiously watch:
1) ABC World News
2) Bollywood Report from WahIndia
3) Doogtoons
4) Sam Has 7 Friends

Of the four shows listed above, I really like Doogtoons.
You'll have to watch the episodes for yourself to understand what I mean. The thing is not supposed to be educational or a 'typical' comedy - if there exists such a thing - but it's 'stupid funny' - don't know how to put the term any differently.

PS: I did share the link with one of my friends (residing in India) and he did not like the show.

My Duck is Sick?

2006-11-14T14:26:00.001-05:00

SICK MY DUCK
...you'll never make it with girls if you stay out of school

Jane's & Mike's
English Language School

Credit: Spot Thompson Total Com. Group Athens

@ Ads of the World

Obsession

2006-08-21T19:34:00.000-04:00

Road trips and weekend adventures are incomplete without a camera in hand. The click sound is what makes such long awaited and thoroughly planned vacations complete.

No matter which group I travel with... no matter how many people the group is composed of... or the average age of peers... or the location being explored... or the time of the day... or any other simple silly stupid scenario... the device that makes the click sound either:

1. sticks to my hand,
2. hangs around my wrist, or
3. dances around my waist.

As a result, very few clicks are targeted towards me.

This very disappointing factor encourages me to engage in some very non-unimaginable craziness.

When bored - and this happens often - and tired of the routine of fighting boredom - that consists of (a) watching movies, (b) playing games, (c) surfing the net, (d) chatting, (e) online social networking, (f) sleeping, (g) eating, (h) reading [?!] - the clicking device again mysteriously find its way towards me, my hand, my mind! And I - quite non-surprisingly - end up clicking my own photographs.

I assume, everyone would agree with me in saying:

self-clicked photographs look really bad

Yet, we all do it! Some do it more frequently than others. And I probably belong to the 'more frequent' category.

Rain Drive

2006-08-20T19:05:00.000-04:00

Finally, after one whole year I got to drive in the rain. But it was not exactly what I wanted.

My ideal Rain Drive is on the highway with water pouring down like anything, resulting in nothing being seen beyond the dashboard. In such a situation, everybody in the car practices the fine art of being quite. Silence is the only sound in side, and rain is the only sound out side. No body moves their head, everybody's eyes stick to the 'road' - which, of course, is not in sight. And they all pray to reach safely to where ever the car is headed.

That is my ideal Rain Drive!

Oh! I so miss that situation.

Insight into my Personality?

2006-08-10T13:19:00.001-04:00

The subject of movies is often discussed and talked about amongst friends. Back in the 'kids era' - yes I do like the combination of these two words - questions like "What is your favorite movie?" "Who are your favorite actors and actresses?" "What kind of music do you like?" "Which TV Serials are your favorite?" were often asked and answered. There could be several reasons to why every group of friends in this world has talked about these. Either there was nothing else worth talking about or these questions are very important! I used to believe the first reason - nothing else to talk about! But it seems the latter is true - these questions are very important!

Now the question - Why do I think "these questions are very important"? Well, because the rise of 'social networks' has emphasised the importance of these. No matter which social network, no matter whether it is being used largely or not, all of them have sections for - favorite movies, favorite music, favorite books etc. etc. So, do these tell something about the person? Or do they just serve as information that end up resulting in false interpretations?

How do you decide which kind of movie you like? No movie is perfect! Do we base our choices and preferences on Acting? Actors? Technology used? Special effects? Story? Climax? What?

Okay, another question. When someone first watches a movie or a new movie is released people again discuss it, ask others whether or not they liked the movie. This is not about favorites, it's only about the first impression. How do people judge this like or dislike towards the movie?

I, personally, did not like Omkara. The last 30 minutes were the best because the movie gained pace, but everything before it was slow and probably did not make sense to an average viewer (who has not read Othello). Although everything that happened in the first 2 hours was essential for the climax, as a whole I did not like the movie. Probably because it did not keep me involved, after a while I was not interested in what was happening on screen, I wanted it to just end!

Yesterday, I saw Sainik (a 1993 Akshay Kumar starrer). The movie did not have any story to it. They just made it out of the blue, probably to give these stars something to do. After the movie ended, I wanted to express my like or dislike. And for once I was confused. Although the movie did not have any storyline, although it was not all necessary to spend 3 hours watching it, although I could have done something better, probably watched another pathetic movie, I had a very good reason to say that I did not dislike the movie. This does not mean I 'liked' it, but I 'did not dislike' it either. The reason? I didn't really get bored. Although I could see, nothing is leading to nowhere, still the director had my attention.

How do you play this game of favorites? or likes or dislikes?

The Cursed Day

2006-08-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

Aug 3 '01 - the day my family and I left New Delhi, India for good.
Aug 3 '01 - the day my family and I landed on American land for good.
Aug 3 '01 - the day that marked the ending of a beginning left incomplete.
Aug 3 '01 - the day that marked the beginning of a new beginning unasked for.

As a fourteen year old I arrived Atlanta, Georgia, United States of America exactly five years ago from today. Mom, Papa, Hansag and I stood at the Hartsfield Airport with our eight (or maybe twelve) huge suitcases, waiting for Mr. Man Mohan Sharma to receive us.

Two years before, in 1999, Hansag and I had come to the States for a visit of three months. The scene that was in front of our eyes now, was not at all scary. Seeing Whites, Blacks, Latinos, Asians, all those people running around at the airport seemed quite normal. Those pay phones, those carts, that luggage receiving area, those help counters, those sliding doors, those extra long cars, pick-up trucks, perfect roads, nothing, nothing at all was new or scary or unexpected.

Finally, someone came looking for us. It was Mr. Sharma's wife - Lydia Sharma - of Puerto Rican decent. Those huge suitcases we were standing by helped her recognize us.

The luggage was dumped into Mr. Sharma's white Ford pick-up truck. The rest of us rode the black Lexus, which had a built-in GPS system. Again, the automatic windows, the smooth ride, the fast highways, the country side, nothing, nothing at all was new or scary or unexpected.

The night before, back in India, mom was still packing. There was a huge crowd of people in our flat - Nana, Nani, Anil Chacha, Lajja Chachi, Shanky, Rishu, Rinku Mama, Papa, Mom, Hansag, and I. A lot of stuff was going on, the flight was in only a couple of hours and the house was still a mess, things spread everywhere! Adults' minds were not thinking straight. There came a point when postponing the ticket was being considered. I was up for it! I really wanted that! I actually wanted them to just fuckin' cancel the tickets and not ever think about moving to the United States. But of course, nothing was done. The flight, still, was in a couple of hours, and the house, still, was a mess.

Soon, and I mean pretty soon, it was time to step out the house. I went to my room, picked up the phone and dialed numbers. Three sets of seven digit numbers. Said the same thing to all the three on the other side of the line:

Hum bas nikal rahe hain. Tujhe last bye bolne ke liye phone kiya.
(We are just leaving. Called to say a final bye.)

Kanika Saboo, Srishti Bhatnagar, and Aditya Singh (probably in that same order, but can't remember).

Then, I went down the stairs, walked over to another building, called Tripti Sharma. She came downstairs we shook hands/hugged and I stepped inside that car that took me away, far away.

Yes, it has been five years since I've seen that flat or that particular crowd or Kanika or Srishti or Aditya or Tripti. It has been five years since I've stepped down those stairs or walked on that road or towards that building.

Five long unending years.

iSpace

2006-07-19T21:11:00.000-04:00

I hail from the land of crowd.

No matter where you go, where you step, where you turn, where you see ... there's crowd everywhere! At bus stops, at train stations, at airports, in schools, in movie theaters, in parks, on the road ... crowd everywhere! Men, women, elderly, young, kids, infacts, rich, poor, beggars, sellers, people, people, people ... everywhere! Sometimes it is hard to find enough space to stand, to sit. Many times it's hard to walk. People pushing you around, stepping on your foot, calling you names, being extra rude is not at all shocking or surprising or even new. This is just how life works ... in the land of crowd!

Due to this exposure, it is sometimes hard for me to see people standing in buses when almost half the seats are empty. In the land of crowd 3-5 people share a seat, which was originally made for 2.

The later is the land of space, iSpace.

This place is full of land! Here, people don't like to see people. They don't like to be in close contact with them. In theaters, a minimum distance of one empty seat is absolutely required in order to enjoy the show. Here, people prefer living in the back portion of the house so that the road is not in front of there small abode, which allows them to avoid seeing people! Mostly everybody drives a car, use of public transportation is minimal, which allows many to enjoy iSpace in their known and friendly surroundings. In class, in parks, at train stations, at bus stops - in any public place - a good distance is maintained, no word is spoken, and not one comment is passed between two strangers. This is how very extremely important iSpace is, and this how very extremely strange the land of space is!

The Simpsons - Indian-e-fied!

2006-07-18T18:14:00.000-04:00

Today, I came across this on YouTube.

Serves as good sequal to my previous Simpsons post.

Oh! So Yumm...

2006-07-17T18:33:00.000-04:00

Lindt Truffles. Especially those white balls with that creamy stuff inside!

White chocolate is not really chocolate, it does not have any cocoa in it. Yet, the white truffles by Lindt are what I like, what I love!

I was first introduced to these amazingly delicious fake-chocolates at the

Fernbank Chocolate Exhibit. I worked there as a part-time cashier on alternate Friday evenings and on every Saturday and Sunday. Joined in February, quit in June. I preferred working at the Chocolate store, which was often more busy, but a lot easier to handle. Friday evenings were the most boring of them all. The evening went by very slowly. The couples entered the store with one of their hands entangled into a hand of a different skin tone than theirs; the other hand sophistically held a wine glass. Often times, people weren't in their senses (side effect of drinking). Other times, they'd purchase a $14 chocolate bar just to try it out.

I begged to differ.

Not completely though.

I worked there - the reason: I needed money to survive - and insipid of being poor I too purchased those highly overpriced not so uncommon candy bars. But, I bought the small stuff: like the beautiful White Lindt Truffles.

I'm not chocolate crazy. Yes, exactly how I'm not car crazy. There are a few chocolates, however, that make me fly. It all started with Five Star, creamy caramel bundled with some other soft and creamy stuff tied together by a milk chocolate coating. It started there, it ended there. That's all I liked! Not even KitKat, not even Perk, not even Cadbury. Five Star ruled!

In US, I tried several chocolates but none lived up to my expectations, except maybe Milky Way. And now, Oh! So Yumm... Truffles!

Recommended Read: Candy Freak by Steve Almond

Crush List

2006-07-13T11:03:00.000-04:00

I'm not into cars. I can't even tell you the names of (a lot) of cars by just looking at them, except of course I know someone who owns a certain one and happen to know the name. The possibilities are not a lot, because Indians usually buy the same cars again and again. My parents, grandparents and uncle-aunt each own at least one Toyota Camry. So you see, there's no need to know all the names (or even a little less than all), because one name fits all!

Back in India (or maybe I should say, when I was much younger), I could identify a car by its sound. It's not hard to differentiate between a Tata Indica, Maruti 800, and a Fiat.

Since I'm not into cars, that says for itself that I'm not crazy about them either. My heart does not stop pumping blood at the sight of a Lamborghini. Neither does it fall short of breath on seeing a Ferrari. I don't want or wish to have any of these cars.

I believe you are pretty conviced that I too am going to buy a Toyota Camry someday. Hey I know the name! and I sure can relate it to a picture in my head. BUT! there are a few cars that do contribute in those little tiny instances where I don't feel my feet being in contact with the ground. Umm... not a few, but two. Don't worry I won't prove you wrong, if not Camry I'll buy something pretty much like it since Ferrari and Lamborghini are not on my crush list.

The first car I like would be Nissan Maxima. Surprised? Of course! What's so special about this, so simple, so boring, so not-unusual looking car. Well, I don't know! When you like someone, is there a reason behind it? Or is it a feeling inside? Something you can't control. Something you know is strange, yet feels right! Same thing here. I guess, I'm pretty practical in that manner. Why dream of a Hummer when I know it's of no use to me. Or, am I just finding excuses? Nah! C'mon its a MAXIMA!! I don't need an excuse for this car.

Next in line is Nissan Z. Much cooler. Much hippier. Much younger. Still, i'm not aiming too high. I don't think you'll need a explanation to why I like this car, do you?

Maxima and Z have been on my list for a while now. Even today, when I see either of the two cars my dil goes mmm...

It seems that soon enough a new member maybe added to the 'I like...' family. You won't be able to guess this one.

It's small.
It's sleak.
It turns heads.
It's a two seater, two door.
Most likely a fantacy forever.
Hopefully, a dream waiting to be turned into reality.

And the winner is Lotus! May be I over exagerrated. I'm still not sure if I really, absolutely, truely, passionately like the car. I've only seen it twice on the road in the past five days, and once on a photoblog. But the car looks pretty cool. And I believe, there should at least be one car in the house that lets just the two - him and i - take a trip, without even having the option of more people. The rest of the cars, can quitely sit in the garage, and act like they are at the repair shop.

The Simpsons Introduction - human-e-fied!

2006-07-12T16:14:00.000-04:00

The Simpsons introduction, played by real people. Exactly like the cartoon!

Could not find a copy of the actual intro due to copyright laws.

Why did the Pigeon cross the road?

2006-07-11T08:39:00.000-04:00

Here, on GSU 'campus' we have traffic lights for pedestrians as well. This is often hard to find in American suburbs, but in downtown it's not a surprise, in fact it's an absolute necessity.

Some people - and I really do not understand why - wait for the walk signal before stepping on the road, even if they can see there is not a car to be seen for a good distance and that no car will magically appear before the signal turns red from yellow.

Often times, I cross the road without paying attention to whether or not I'll safely reach the other side or unsafely reach the hospital. I guess, I lack observation skills, or I have too much faith in the crazy downtown drivers.

I've seen many not using the zebra crossing, which is not an uncommon thing, though it may be dangerous if one is not extra careful, even I do the same thing! But never in my life - before the morning of the day of today - did I see a pigeon waiting for the signal to say 'walk' and then crossing the road, using the zebra crossing! No exaggeration here, no fiction, nothing is made up!

I saw a brown and white pigeon cross the road with other human
pedestrians; it was 'walking' right in front of me.

I - looking at it all this while - smiling!

I don't think I've ever seen that pigeon fly, and I've seen it around Aderhold a number of times. It's not hard to distinguish it from others of its kind due to its texture. And, I've always seen it alone. Hmm... may be it doesn't have any friends.

I took some pictures of the 'lonely bird that walks' when I first encountered it. I wish I could post some of 'em with this blog, but unfortunately I can never transfer images from my Moto Razr to the PowerBook. The bluetooth identifies the object, but always shows an error when trying to transfer anything!

Google Store

2006-07-10T16:33:00.000-04:00

Yes, Google Store! It sells all sorts of things from pens to pants, frisbies to can openers, office stationary to dog accessories.

Google's commercialization at it's height!

Some things are extra cheap, others horribly expensive. They got stuff for everyone! Poor, rich, humans, pets, kids, and adults.

Check it out for yourself!

Ads of a Better Flock

2006-07-09T10:54:00.001-04:00

These are what I call commercials of a better flock. Way better than Pepsi TV fundas...

Shield TV Commercial

Pepsi Indian Cricket Huddle Advert

Why Plasma TV isn't popular in India...

Ranked in the order I like them. Plasma TV ad is not that great. And here's one from Airtel (as recommended by Mr. Arjun Kochhar):

Airtel: A. R. Rahman

Katherine's Pages

2006-07-07T14:49:00.000-04:00

The Description: Exposure to the world distanced Katherine from everything except books. Years later, the one guy she does not want to get close to will drive her to open an old chapter of her life. But all he wants is to open a new one with her in it, before time runs out.

This is another one of Suban's films. If I am correct, he shot this before The Attraction Theory. I was one of the many editors for this script.

Katherine's Pages is much more involved that The Attraction Theory, and is more like a "feature film" rather than a short clip. Once you see it, you'll realize a lot of effort went into the story writing. This can be viewed in better quality on Google Video or YouTube.

Watch TV + Drink Pepsi = Pepsi TV

2006-07-06T10:19:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I was looking up some Indian TV commercials. Didn't find any good ones. Pepsi used to make some good ads - or at least, back in the day I thought they were good... don't know if I'll like them now - but in this day and age they are making ridiculous, hilariously stupid, and seriously just a waste-of-time sort of commercials with bollywood stars.

Here's an example:

Pepsi TV commercial 1 of 2

Pepsi TV commericial 2 of 2

I have only one phrase in mind to express my emotions - WTF!!!

Shahrukh Khan is too old to be doing this shit! There was a time when I used to absolutely love the king khan but I was a kid back then! Now, I don't even want to see his face even on a fucking moving vehicle that passes by me within several seconds; the 82 second commercial was definitely a stretch!
What's up with these girls looking bitchy? Is it a soda commercial or a commercial by Axe?!
Kareena Kapoor can't act, can't dance, can't express emotions, can't do anything that will give her the title of an "actress", yet she's so famous that she's in a Pepsi commercial? Or, is that how she's making money these days?
Pepsi TV?! - Watch TV + Drink Pepsi = Pepsi TV - WTF!!! What kind of a crazy, stupid, crapy funda is that?

India needs much better ad makers (or whatever the term is for the people with a career in advertising).

4th of July - 2006!

2006-07-05T07:57:00.000-04:00

The date back in the year 1776 when the United States of America declared itself a free nation. Exactly 230 long (being an Indian, maybe I should say short?) years ago.

The day is celebrated all over the US with fireworks, fairs, special events and a lot more. I feel awful when writing the following:

I never really witnessed any of the 4th of July excitment LIVE; and it has been 5 long (definitely long) years since I've been living in this nation.

Now, I feel proud - and certainly very satisfied - to declare:

This year was different!

The morning started early (for me at least! I woke up at 9 - very unusual for a holiday). I had read about the Peachtree Road Race the day before after hearing about it from Dean Brook - my bicycle coach. Although the road started at 6:55 and 7:30 for Wheelchairs and Elite runners, respectively ... 10am still wasn't late for a photoshoot as over 50,000 individuals participate in the 10 mile race, and at any point in time until, I guess, 12pm one can see a flock of people running, walking, strolling on Peachtree with a number tag on their t-shirts.

I did nothing related to the American 'Independence Day' in the afternoon. Rather, I was at Dean's house learning how to fix a road bike - change tires, pump air, fix breaks. Learned some new bicycle terms. I'm sure I won't remember all of 'em, but it's a start ... plus, as Dean says, "at least you'll know what someone is talking about when you hear these words."

In the evening, we headed to the City of Decatur Fireworks after discovering that it's the point from where one can see all the firewords in the city - Lenox Square, Centennial Park, and Stone Mountain. After reaching the area, we decided to change plans and headed towards the Lenox Square Mall because there was a lot to do their - stalls, food, games - none of which, we could see at Decatur while sitting in the car.

Initially planned for 9:30pm the firewords at Lenox were delayed until 10:15 due to light rain, but once up they did not stop, and seriously were fantabulous!

The next few pictures on my photoblog will certainly be dedicated to and portray this day.

four wheels, on the road ... one in hand!

2006-07-03T13:17:00.000-04:00

The past few weekends have been quite a ride. From Helen, Georgia (GA) to Memphis, Tennessee (TN) to the great Smoky Mountains up in North Carolina (NC) and TN.

Road trip to road trip. One destination to another. Often, driving aimlessly into the dark and empty highways. Many times, taking a road less traveled by, with no car, no human soul to encounter in any direction. Making careful turns on those curvy mountain roads, stopping suddenly to witness an owl staring at us, slowing down to let a snake cross the road. Hiking up a mountain, running out of breath, being extra careful not to trip on the roots that run all across the path. Taking a break by a water fall, drinking that cool water, splashing it on our exhausted faces.

Witnessing the beauties of this alien world that we live in.

HIST 2110: American History ...WTF!

2006-06-13T09:25:00.000-04:00

Desi Prof! ...Not only desi, but a desi prof with an interest and experience in European History - French to be specific - teaching American History just for the fun of it! ...WTF!

Dolina's (I guess that's how it's spelled) research interest is Pondicherry - the similarities between the French and Pondicherry - a city that's in no way Indian (her dialogue!).

She has been here in the US for ONE SEMESTER! Why did she VOLUNTEER to teach US History, with no previous experience in it? B'cause, she's living here... she'd like ot know what it's about! ...WTF!

Her class was boring. She did not catch my interest. I learned more in High School than in her crash course of early American History. And in the US that's not how it's supposed to be, here... people don't learn stuff in High School! She told three stories about the natives and the Puritans that she thought were intersting. Well, they WEREN'T! Not when she told them. Because she didn't really tell them! It seemed like, she said the introduction sentence and the concluding sentence, and bam! that's the story. ...Well, NO! It doesn't quite work like that, unfortunately.

I do feel sorry for her for being so boring, and having had a surgery ... yesterday. I hope today's class was a disaster just because of her just getting out of the hospital. If not, god help the students!

The Attraction Theory

2006-06-09T03:32:00.000-04:00

Remember that short "film" I wrote about earlier? The one I helped in the making of as the camera (wo)man, audio specialist, and also as the latest "Priyanka Chopra" ... haha! I take it back, I do not like Priyanka Chopra - as a matter of fact, currently I do not like any actors/actresses in Bollywood (but let me save that for another post) ... What I meant to say was mine was a guest appearance in this short film.

Well, as of 6 days ago Suban Dey - the writer and director - uploaded the clip on YouTube and on Google Video. He did not even tell me about it! Why? Because he wanted me to see the better quality version. I was surprised he didn't know I couldn't wait for summer session to start to see it. I got the URL from his Facebook profile, and from then it all began - my journey as an audience.

Enjoy the show!

All of this was shot at Georgia State University's Student Center. The scene in the open area is shot right out side the Student Center and in front of the Recreation Center.

aah! ...life.

2006-06-07T23:13:00.000-04:00

5:45 AM is when I went to bed. Setting a personal record of staying awake for 2 days and 2 nights in a row. I wanted to make this record for for 3 days and 2 nights, but unfortunately the internet connection in the morning went off; the only thing that could help me stay awake, went dead!

I need to read several books, but my mind was not in a state of comprehension. While watching the movies Hazaaron Khwaahishein Aisi and Rebecca earlier in the night, there were times when I had no idea what the characters inside the computer screen were saying. The words did not make any sense. I had to shake my head in order to come back to reality and in order to prevent myself from going too far down sleepy street in the land of undisturbed unconsciousness.

Woke up at 3:50 PM. Went down Tech Square to see how they had set-up the movie night. Saw about 15 minutes of Mr. and Mrs. Smith that started at 9. I had already seen it, and wasn't too excited about viewing it for a second time. Came back and had sambhar and chawal for dinner while watching Born into Brothels. The movie just ended and it's 11 PM.

The day came to an end even before it began.

6/6/6 - the day!

2006-06-06T21:25:00.000-04:00

Today morning seemed very different for some reason. I felt something very unique and it seemed that I was experiencing something for the very first time. Could not decide what it was. And even now, while writing about it and trying extremely hard to find words to describe the incident, the experience, the feeling, the emotion, the drive, the moment - I regret to say, I fail myself!

Had the final exam for ECON 2106: Principles of Microeconomics at 8 AM. Mark Rider, our instructor, has a habit of being late to class. The test started at 8:30! I had stayed awake during all the hours of the previous night. Was studying - reading over notes, skimming through the book, reading chapter summaries; orkutting; reading blogs, and commenting. The test went well, I suppose. I'm not really looking forward to the results; prefer living in a dream rather than reality.

In the car, Punit said something about yesterday morning, and my ears found the word 'yesterday' very odd. I expressed, to me it did not seem like an entire day had already passed, gone, poofed! It only seemed like - not yesterday, but - yesterhour(?) or yesterminute(?) or probably just yestersecond(?) that we had been driving on the same road, stopping at the same traffic light, thinking about whether or not to reverse from the civic center station or not. This was the beginning of a very different morning.

While waiting for Professor Rider for thirty some minutes my mind drifted, and did something that it had not practiced for the past two months and two days, to be exact. It thought of words, combined them together, made sense out of them, forced my hands to pen them down, and finally create a piece of art - ek kavita! I wrote it in less than ten minutes and posted it on Intoxicated Senses soon after the test, under the time tag of when I penned my last word - 8:22 AM on Tuesday, June 6 '06. The poem compares one's life with the moon - a very common metaphor in Hindi Poetry - with a different approach. Instead of moon being the ideal symbol of beauty, the poem declares the moon a lonely soul who nobody really loves or cares about. Have a read and please, do post your views.

I decided to head back to my apartment sometime around 4:30ish. Before which I was busy orkuttin - latest fad of my life. I am already over facebook (thank god!); chatting; and of course promoting this latest kavita of mine. I stepped out of Aderhold and started walking towards the Peachtree MARTA station. The weather was quite good and I sure was enjoying it with my slow, leisurely steps. As soon as I started approaching the elevators down to the train level, I decided to walk past them. With a Red Bull in my right hand and a nice breeze blowing and messing up my hair, I was ready for a walk of over an hour through the heart of downtown Atlanta. I was certainly tired as a result of no sleep or rest, but I did not want to give up on this afternoon cum evening walk.

I walked down Peachtree Street - passed by the amazing architechture of the SunTrust building; saw office workers boarding Cobb Transportation; answered questions of roadside homeless people; smiled with and at this guy who was extremely happy about something; waited for the walk sign and crossed intersections; admired urban architechture; sometimes paused and had a look at tall buildings, trees, and street lamps from different angles - as a photographer's stunt; and much more! I did not feel like walking all the way upto Home Park. So, I cut through North Avenue into Georgia Tech campus in the hopes of boarding the Blue Route Stinger Shuttle. It was too hot at the stop and the sun had decided to take away all my energy. I stood there for just five minutes and gave up all hopes of sitting on a leather seat in an air-conditioned bus. After loosing all hopes I started walking towards the Tech Trolley stop. Oh! that Stinger stop in-pact with the deadly sun actually had snatched all of my strength. Yet, I walked!

Three other students had already been waiting for the Trolley near the Fraternity and Sorority houses. I sat on the bricks, my heartbeat was too fast, I could not do anything - not even think! After about seven minutes the Blue Route Stinger stopped across the road. Two other students who had joined the first three students and myself at the Trolley stop walked towards the bus, the other three went in a completely opposite direction, but I kept on sitting - didn't have any energy to move, no intentions either. Two minutes later, I was sitting in the Trolley myself.

Reached home around 5:50ish, collapsed on the bed, regained strength, changed into something loose, and got on my Apple.

wow :) - prisoner number "Rs. 10"

2006-06-05T23:23:00.000-04:00

I do feel sorry for this particular guy... but man, is he fucked. Check out this article at HT's website - Two years in jail for bribe of Rs.10! - that states a head constable has been sentenced for two years in jail and a fine of Rs. 15,000 for taking a bribe of Rs. 10 some thirteen years ago.

A good thing? Too harsh? I don't know people, I'm just taken aback. Don't know in a good way, a bad way, or a neutral one :-?

Fernbank + controversies + GOD

2006-06-04T14:45:00.000-04:00

Security guards at Fernbank are fun to talk to. Specially when it comes to a controversy... but then, talking about controversies is always fun... no matter who your counterpart.

These days, because of the movie's release, DaVinci Code is flourishing as a great topic to pluck your brains over. For me, however, it's stale news now. I've already had discussions on that topic with many engaging minds.

There's this particular security guard at Fernbank - I'm unfamiliar with his name - who always asks, after setting eyes on me, "do you believe the book is true?" I always look at him, smile and say..."I don't know if the book is true or not, but I do think Brown got a good imagination." And he does! The book, I believe is terrific. The way it engages its readers, how it builds and carries suspense through out the novel is just great! I haven't finished reading it yet, but as of right now - in very simple words - I'm crazy about the plot. Yes, I know there are many individuals who are completely against the book due to religious reasons... and this is completely understandable. Although, the book and the movie clearly state the story is fictional, in spite of being based on some true facts, it still questions the Christian faith. Average humans do not just read such materials and sit quite. They have to take an action! They are asked and forced to choose one side - true or false. Look at what happened when Hussain painted a naked picture of a Hindu deity? Look at what happened when some guy in Europe ridiculed Muhammad? They too were pieces of art - just like DaVinci Code - and they too were critical and controversial. When individuals play with somebody's emotions, beliefs - religious or personal, controversies come up, crazy stuff happens! Be there an intention behind it or not. This is how the world works!

Anyways. Yesterday, while talking to the no-name guard God also came up. He asked me if I was a Muslim. I said No. Then he thought about it and realized that I was a Hindu. A few seconds later I corrected him -

"Hindu, by birth."
So he asked me again, "What are you then?"
And I said, "an Agnostic."
"So you are an Atheist?" he asked.
"No. An Agnostic. I question the existence of God. I ask for proof, either for his presence or absence."
"So, how do you think the world was created?"
"I don't know" I said.
"What about human beings. Where did they come from?"
Same response from my side - "I don't know."
"Do you think we were created by Aliens?"
"It could be a possibility" - Hey! A different answer this time. I explained to him some different scenarios, gave him some different - more scary - outlooks on the world's existence.
"There could be many things. Aliens is definitely one of the possibilities. Basically, who is God? A superior being. Somebody higher than all of us. Right? Well, what if there's a particular species out there in the cosmos which is highly advanced than our own. There's definitely a possibility that they came down here and left some two beings to start life on their own. These aliens periodically visit earth just to check on us. It's not impossible."
He just said, "Hmm." His face clearly saying, "People at this age!"
Yet I continued... "Another possibility can be that we are living in a computer game. A programmer designed this simulation/strategy game, he did the basis things and now it's up to us to survive. Like Sims."
He just listened.

It is not true that I am the only person coming up with such scenarios or that I am the first to questions God's existence. Others have come up with similar possibilities and more will reach this point. This is what reason is about, this is what being rational does to you.

The no-name guard discussed this with Craig - another one of the security guards there. Several minutes later I came to know about this and Craig was happy to find some support to solidify his statement of Geetali being a rebel, which he made earlier in the day.

And the story goes on... the discussion did not end here. Jesus and Muhammad also came up. I made it clear that I do not deny the existence of either one, and I put extra emphisis on the word "either."

Memorial Day Weekend

2006-05-26T14:03:00.000-04:00

This weekend is a long weekend for most of the people living in America. Why most? Because I come in the second group of people who work on the weekends. In a way it is good that I have the weekdays to myself and I can do my school work then. But otherwise it's a pain because I can never do anything on the weekend. Yes, after 6pm I'm free, but can't really go for an out of town trip. Only if I had this Saturday and Sunday off, we would have decided to go somewhere, do something exciting.

The long weekend - as the Americans like to put it - is due to Memorial Day. It falls on the last Monday of May and is a day in the honor of all those who died on the battlefield.

This is something I really like about America. "What?" You may ask. Well, the idea that a national holiday falls either on a Monday or a Friday. There's no set date for them, only a set day - first or last Monday or Friday. Instead of two days to relax, people get three. I doubt that this could be accomplished in India. First of all, if something major - Independence Day, Republic Day, or Gandhi Jayanti - happens to fall on a weekday, schools ask their students to attend the "missed" classes on a Saturday. This is how it used to be a while ago. Eventually, Saturday's became another one of the "weekdays." So was the case at my school - Xavier's, Delhi.

Be it students or employees, everybody in India is pushed to their limits. And it starts early on. Why do they have to work so hard? Why can't they live like their American or British counterparts? I understand, the answers to these questions are Population and Competition. But that certainly doesn't mean that a human would be tested on every corner, in everything he/she does. Huh, and with the quota, things are definitely going to get worse.