"Caste" System is Real

I kinda like the caste system (spur of this moment thought). But it's probably definitely a horrible thing to say in this day and age.

Hear me out though.

I think we as humans inherently practice it. But don't call it the 'caste system'. The formal layout simply doesn't exist in the western world and is taken too literally in the east. It's natural to follow ones heart and seek similar collateral. Being surrounded by what mirrors our own ideas, beliefs, thoughts, actions, and way of life, amongst numerable other things, is the 'caste' system. It's categorization. And you and I do it e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y because collective functioning is core to social human nature. And we can only collaborate collectively with those who are similar to us, who fall in the same category as us!

...and it changes as we change, as life progresses, as we move from one step to another. But I don't think it changes a lot, unless one was in the wrong category to begin with and takes conscious steps to move closer to her real self. Kinda like what I am doing with my current life* :)

*current life != Geetali Sharma aka Kishu; April 22, 1987 (or 9 months prior) to present day.
current life = Designer, in training + Minimalist (Beta) + spiritual-atheist-philosopher


Hah! How about me gravitates towards concise refinement! <3 Life!

'Expectations ≈ Goals'?

A quick throw-up after reading Moving Beyond Goals on The Minimalists.

I make goals, but fail to meet them. I make goals, because I think I lack motivation. Which isn’t really true because I Have found my passion and, when engrossed, it brings happy tears to my eyes! Anything Design makes me glow.

Several years ago, I decided to let go of Expectations because I concluded from observation and analysis that they were a gateway to irrational unhappiness. Reading comments on the above blog, triggered a recollection of that idea. Letting go of Goals sounds very similar to me. Both, expectations and goals, are intellectually driven, not intuitionally. Intellect, although necessary to function, needs Intuition to create balance. In the want of expectations and goals – a fictional future – we forget to be in the present, the here & now, the true reality, and sooner or later complain of [irrational] unhappiness, of not knowing who we are, or who’s life we’re living.

Intellect comes with a certain amount of RAM and we are meant to utilize the fossil fuel Intuition (heart, gut, voice from within, motivation, whatever you may wanna call it, it’s the part of you that just knows).

I'm glad I read that blog, it has helped me further understand something truly important.

Change, I Heart

Things that bothered me in the past, fail to instill the same affect off late. Example: cold temperatures, rainy weather. I'm starting to embrace change. Happily. Enthusiastically. I enjoy change. This idea of embracing, celebrating, and often, seeking change seems to define who I am. I feel it needs deeper contemplation.

:)

♫ I feel Happy inside! -The Beatles

Nothing but the Truth!

For at least the past four months, I've been actively practicing the art of not lying. For a really long time, lying is how I dealt with my parents. Not because I was embarrassed of my lifestyle, but because I knew it was embarrassing for them. So I chose what Holy Bhagvad Gita sorta suggests and lied lies that prevented my parents from feeling hurt. 

And then I got tired. Of living a double life. Of having to keep track of fiction. And of course, of dishonesty.

So, ever since moving back, I've chosen not to lie. It was a huge step because while living separately, I didn't have to speak to them or answer to them everyday or ever. Living in close premises is different as humans are social beings and it only makes sense to socialize with those who are available at close proximity. I was having my daily, trivial chitter-chatter with my parents. That would've been a lot of fiction to invent and track if I had chosen the fictional route. But, as I said before, I plain wasn't interested! I wanted to invest my creative sparks elsewhere. Thus, it has been all honesty since then, to the point of giving them the names of my guy friends who I chill with late-late at night. *sigh* it feels nice. 

PS: This probably isn't a big deal for most people, but my Dad is Indian and expects me to be Indian, which means believing that everybody is out to get me and use me since I'm a poor little, vulnerable, weak girl and all, you know. 

Anyways. The point of the blog is - Telling the Truth has become a Habit! Sometimes the thought of lying surfaces, especially if I want to not share something because of the embarrassment factor, but Habit doesn't let it happen! It's pretty awesome! So all in all, I guess, good habits are not as difficult to form as much we've somehow convinced ourselves to believe that they are. Huh.

Try something for yourself. It only takes perseverance. 

Good night. 

Shubh raatri. 

Shabba khair.

I Dream Awesome Dreams

I haven't shared my dreams with anyone in a while because once upon a time one dude interpreted one so accurately, it scared the bejeezus outta me! Now, however, I do a pretty good job interpreting them myself and thus don't mind sharing the awesome symbolic visual imagery that comes forth from within my deep subconscious and takes me on roller coaster rides at nights.

I guess the difference between then and now is that I don't feel out of control anymore. During the summer of 2006, sharing a motel room up in the smoky mountains with four people I hadn't known too long, I felt at a loss when my deep fears and desires were exposed so easily and freely by one of them whome I had barely known for a few hours. Understood by him in an instant! Things that I chose to deliberately look away from during my waking life surfaced through another route, which, again, I had no desire to dig into. It was mere play to me, this dreaming business. Entertainment of sorts. Motion picture, emotions, even physical movements designed specifically for me that could be experienced by no one else. It was wow-ness and awe-ness. It was something trivial to talk about, to keep verbal chatter flow continuously during road-trips and lunch dates. No biggie, really. Until the smart ass shut me up for six-years. Wowza!

As of now, I write them and the meaning unfolds automatically, without attempt, as I recall my dreams. There was also a time period when I couldn't recall them for months, may be a couple of years. Of course, because I wanted to look away; look away so desperately that my memory had no choice but to oblige. Then I started missing them. Life started seeming more bland as my source of entertainment was now missing. But more importantly, I didn't want to look away anymore. I had come to the conclusion that problems don't disappear if you look away. It may seem like they have but they always remain in the back of one's mind, slowing and invisibly draining energy, deeply confusing the person, cracking the hole of emptiness faster and wider. I wanted to start mending the whole. I wanted to start charging my batteries. And once my desire for flying high was true and deep, I started using my brain instead of keeping it turned off. I started grabbing everything in my life I was unhappy with, one by one, and started tracing back steps to the original cause, I performed numerous root-cause-analyses. That was part one. Part two, probably, was grabbing hold of opportunities that came my way. I know I've talked about it before, but I can't not mention it again: Vipassana. Meditation. This awesome tool, started helping me recall my dreams accurately and instantly. Yes, it has taken more practice over the past few months and it's not a one-time-cure. But more than anything else I did before or since, meditation just solves my problems without me having to consciously think and act upon them. It's fuckin' magic!

Anyways, the moral of the blog is - Dreams rock! Our brains are geniuses! And I'm letting mine become the genius that it inherently is :D

Peace.