Atlanta Snow Week

Atlanta and surrounding areas have been snowed in since Sunday (Jan 9) evening. Large part of Georgia came to a screeching halt and schools, offices, stores were closed on Monday and Tuesday. Things started picking up today, Wednesday... but the road conditions haven't improved much on the outskirts, i.e. outside downtown or midtown Atlanta. More places will start opening their doors tomorrow (Thursday), but they're being cautious by starting late (Georgia Tech at 10a, Art Institute at noon), but many continue to play it safe by declaring another day off.

In all this chaos, instead of enjoying this unexpected extra time with self or with family or by doing something that they had been putting off because of the lack of time, people continue to complain. When suspected that Ai may not resume classes on Thursday either, I read students writing on Facebook how disappointed they were; and then when we learnt that school will indeed be open starting noon (still not sure, we'll know the real deal tomorrow) students started cribbing about the serious icy road conditions. It's really mind boggling. Do we really, always, want what we don't get?! WHY?

I came back from a 10 day Vipassana course on Friday, Jan 7. And thank god I did it when I did (wish I could've done it sooner though). Through all this snow and ice mayhem, I've been sitting and observing peoples reactions. Not at all ideal. They do - and I can't figure out why - continue to make themselves miserable based on something that's not even in their control! Wow, indeed. So what if you get another week off school. So what if you can't go anywhere. So what if school will drag into another week at quarter or semester end. So what if you'll have to move around some plans. You can't fight with anybody about it, damn it! What're you gonna do? Punch nature in its face? Psh! Read a book. Watch movies. Play board games. Get to know your roommates. Do something you haven't done in forever or ever. There's no lack of things to do, even if you can't step outside.

Live in the moment, Atlanta. You may miss it when it's gone; and it will be gone. Impermanence is how nature works, just observe how long it lasts, objectively, without identifying yourself with it - Vipassana words :)

Happy Ice and Snow week! Peace, Atlanta 2011.

Current State of Mind. Lost. Confused.

I like my current profile picture on Facebook. It has a cold, lost feel to it. It reminds me of philosophical dilemmas. Which, by the way, since have no answers, turn Atheists into Spiritualists, I believe. Not to say that these two have to be distinct. One can both reject the existence of an ultra-omni being and still strive for inner peace. The difference being, self-reliance and self-control leading the way instead of dependence or fear. 

But I digress. Back to the picture. 

The cold feel is probably driven by memory. Lit up trees remind me of Christmas and New Years. Lost, of course, is due to the "ghost" affect, but primarily because of my current state of mind. Surrounded by people, work, responsibilities and a new confusion. Walking the "who am I?" path, again! Did this last year, turned out well. Now, however, it bothers me to be back in this state. Partly because I think it came too soon - it has barely been an year, that's Short! Makes me wonder if I messed up the last time, or left the process incomplete. Eh, this statement sounds so effin' full of void. It has no answer! Damn figuring-shit-out phases! 

And also, it's partly troublesome because, I realize it's a never ending process. Which in itself is bothersome. Never ending?! That phrase is bothersome. How does one deal with something that will never ever end? Is there a point in dealing with it or is it just a waste of time? Don't answer that. I know it's NOT a waste of time; instead it's a step at a time. But, a step at a time to what? Where am I trying to reach? Fucking Nirvana? Well, that'll take lifetimes!

Anyways. So yeah, this is where I currently stand. Lost. Confused.

Crime. Fear. Shoot.

It's scary how scared we're of the dark, empty, quite night. While standing in the balcony at 3:30 in the morning, I decided I wanted to take a picture of Atlanta downtown sharing the skyline with mist. Stepping out of the apartment door with the expensive gear, noisily walking across the hallway to the elevator, and getting to the 7th floor of the parking garage was a whole another level of decision making. It required contemplation, careful weighing of reward and threat, reminder to buy a pepper spray, intensely alert ears, and courage to infinity. I did it - out and up and clicked and back - but did not feel 100% safe until I was back inside [the apartment] with the door double-locked.

Even when the elevator doors opened, I waited for a few seconds and entered - and exited - slowly, carefully studying my surroundings. The first five minutes on the deck were spent walking around, looking down walls and railings, making sure all was safe. Even when satisfied with the investigation, gear was being setup by hands, while eyes and ears were still on guard. Buildings weren't lit-up the way I wanted so the photo-shoot was a waste, but even if they had looked perfect, I couldn't have given my entire self to the project.

Crime sucks. Fear blows.

I need a late night shooting buddy.

An A/C Less Summer. May be.

I love the sound and feel of a fan. It takes me back to the summers spent in our [less than] mediocre home in Model Town, Delhi. Lying on the cool farsh (floor), staying protected from loo-full afternoons, drinking Thumbs Up poured from [dirty, recycled] 500ml glass bottles while watching Chhutti-Chhutti.

Atlanta weather, this year, has been playing a game of finally hot! nope, chili again :P in the middle of May. So chili that it demands a sweatshirt and so hot that it makes you wanna strip. Either way, the central heating or air conditioning at Punti's stays put at "off." During the hot part of the summer, comes out the fan along with nostalgia and both him and I indulge in reminiscing conversations of our separate - yet similar - childhood summers :)

Observe, Perceive, Employ

Being a romantic and adventurer, I'm not a mist-hater. It makes the world look dreamy, beautiful yet uncertain, discovery prone, demanding exploration.

Atlanta, caught between watery clouds, made me come up with all these hypotheses yesterday. One could gaze up to a certain distance, but after a point landmarks seized to exist to the trained eye. And today, there seemed to be innumerable streets, buildings, and cars lighted up outside the window. Almost an unusual, puzzling amount. The confusion, however, was short-lived as I recalled the mist and realized its affect on how I perceived the same view on two (or rather, three) consecutive days.

Is that what's so attractive about a momentary change? A fresh way of looking at the same, familiar, taken-for-granted surroundings. Thinking about them from a previously unknown or overlooked perspective. Appreciating the existence, the legacy, and smiling away...