What does it mean when a place brings out the lazy in someone. Or maybe, it's not the lazy but, the scary in them. What if, you're in a place where you spend all your days in bed, under the covers, interacting with the world virtually. Only virtually. Never stepping out, not doing things you promised yourself you'd do, leaving the room only when it's a bodily need - feeding, excreting. The primary driving force here is a place; when outside its boundaries, all becomes well.
I enter such boundaries by will at times because if I don't, guilt starts creeping in. Initially so slowly that realization, dismissal, repetition enters what appears to be an infinite loop, pushing the equation off balance little by little, eventually reaching the point of, well, return. And thus reappears the scare, the fear, that thing that seems to be sitting on my soul, pushing me down, preventing myself from being myself.
May be it's time to say good-bye. Or, could it be, a see-ya-later!
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