Self Assessment

Things I want to do in this lifetime:

1. donate a minimum of $100,000 to charity (because that's how big I can think right now... I wish to stretch myself to add way more zeroes to the end of that)
2. write, write, write ... and publish a book that people can hold in their hands and lend to their friends to read
3. become accutely aware of my subconcious reactions and limitations and override them deliberately and intentionally 
4. become an AWESOME graphic and web designer/developer
5. have real and meaningful relationships with people who choose to live consciously
6. choose curiosity every single day
7. be sexy in body, mind, and spirit
8. be the person I wish everyone chooses to be : kind, compassionate, loving, caring

How I'm doing so far:

1. So far I've donated ten and twenty dollars here and there, plus hundreds of volunteer hours. All together should be somewhere close to $10,000-$15,000 range.  Which means, I should be aiming wayy higher than $100k :)
2. This blog was started in 2004. So much writing has already been done. A writing style has been developed. Now, pulling some of this together, and continuing a writing habit.
3. Meditation, meditation, meditation. Every couple of months re-assessing how I'm doing with my daily practice. Recently, recommitted to 2 hours for daily practice.
4. Some resistance to this right now. My accountability group (Failure Club) is very motivating!
5. Oh god, I have many of these people in my life already. And I feel rather blessed. There's always room for more goodness. 
6. I have been making this a daily practice at work since the past two months. I notice now that it's become a habit. I engage with people automatically, without effort now. Good stuff!
7. This is a work in progress.
8. Doing it. More can be done every day, though.

Writing & Me

(composed on April 4, 2013)

During the 1998-99 school year, as a 6th grader in New Delhi, India, I was introduced to a form of creative-writing that instantly wooed me! It brought me to doors that I hadn't imagined existed. My love for writing is solidly grounded in that one grade-level, that one course, and that one single concept -- writing autobiographies of animate and inanimate objects.

Writing these autobiographies was like "reading" a mystery novel. I did not know what my pen would form next, what my mind would fathom. With the thrill to uncover the story, I would write quickly, bumping up my heartrate with excitement, allowing my arm to start hurting without fail each time. I would write more than the requirement and let my imagination do somersaults.

Aforementioned writing method introduced me to the vastness of my own mind and the creativity that resides within it. The essays were mere bait, and the feelings of falling in love with this method, though true, were also illusionary. I was actually discovering and falling in love with myself!

My relationship with writing, outside of academics [and sometimes even within it], has had the underlying theme of self-discovery. My private journals, online blogs and forum participation, personal emails and texts, handwritten letters and love notes, public comments and tweets, they all continue to evolve overtime. As do I.

Based on the need of the moment, I write to empty and quiten the mind, and I also write to fill it up with ideas, possibilities, direction; I write for clarity and to unjumble, and I also write to question and stir things up. I continue to make discoveries as my pen draws from the fathoms of my mind, and I continue to fall in love with writing, with words, with discovery, and with self!

Product of Two Cultures

Being a product of two culture is more than just confusing and challenging. Especially when these two cultures don't understand each other and critically judge each other.

Who am I in the midst of this? 

Unfortunately for now, it often feels like a battle. No matter what choice I make, I end up having to explain myself to either of the cultures; because as one choice may be an inherent way of being in one culture, it appears absolutely outrageous to the other.

At the end of the day, for me, it comes down to knowing that I know myself best and I know why I am making the choices that I am making.

On the positive side, it doesn't always hurt to have been exposed to two drastically opposing schools of thought. Just makes life that much more full of options and opportunities :)