Drinking and getting drunk seem to go hand in hand for amateurs and college students. When, in January 2006, I was introduced to the wonderful world of liquor, I did the same - drink and get drunk. Did it for the next three years and ten months. Always hating the morning after... not recalling details of intriguing conversations held, disgusted by dry aftertaste in mouth, feeling tired, needing sleep.
Yet, I continued to drink and get drunk (and was soon nicknamed GTalli). It made me feel free, it helped me say things I wouldn't have otherwise. Things I really did want to say, but had reservations about how the receiver might take it. When drunk, people's feelings didn't matter, sharing a fact or an observation or a deep feeling - no matter how depressing, embarrassing, or naked - seemed the most important.
Things have changed now. I don't want to be out of control anymore (probably 'cause the "amateur" label needs to go). I don't want to share my thoughts with everyone (if I do share, I want to take full responsibility and not hide behind alcohol). I don't not want to remember the discussions (they're beautiful and I want to build upon them). I don't want to waste nights and days chugging like an idiot and sleeping like a dog (there's so much to do, so much to see, why waste at all).
So far, I have been able to come up with ways that help me savor. Beer is the easiest, you can't have a lot of it. Reached a surprising achievement with martini as well, when I self-learned to "hold the drink" on Friday, November 13th at Raesh's. But last night, with Macallan and Jager, didn't go as well. Excuse: It was Punti's birthday, but c'mon! Realized that these drinks were so smooth that they just hit me out of nowhere. They didn't taste nasty, they didn't feel weird, and thus I was [partially] gone, quickly. Promotion from cheap to classy may take a while to get used to. But I'm willing and learning!
Good bye binge drinking.