Effortless Effort

Think about it.
What're your thoughts?
Hint: In my case, intuition spurred meaning and understanding. Effortlessly.

"Caste" System is Real

I kinda like the caste system (spur of this moment thought). But it's probably definitely a horrible thing to say in this day and age.

Hear me out though.

I think we as humans inherently practice it. But don't call it the 'caste system'. The formal layout simply doesn't exist in the western world and is taken too literally in the east. It's natural to follow ones heart and seek similar collateral. Being surrounded by what mirrors our own ideas, beliefs, thoughts, actions, and way of life, amongst numerable other things, is the 'caste' system. It's categorization. And you and I do it e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y because collective functioning is core to social human nature. And we can only collaborate collectively with those who are similar to us, who fall in the same category as us!

...and it changes as we change, as life progresses, as we move from one step to another. But I don't think it changes a lot, unless one was in the wrong category to begin with and takes conscious steps to move closer to her real self. Kinda like what I am doing with my current life* :)

*current life != Geetali Sharma aka Kishu; April 22, 1987 (or 9 months prior) to present day.
current life = Designer, in training + Minimalist (Beta) + spiritual-atheist-philosopher


Hah! How about me gravitates towards concise refinement! <3 Life!

'Expectations ≈ Goals'?

A quick throw-up after reading Moving Beyond Goals on The Minimalists.

I make goals, but fail to meet them. I make goals, because I think I lack motivation. Which isn’t really true because I Have found my passion and, when engrossed, it brings happy tears to my eyes! Anything Design makes me glow.

Several years ago, I decided to let go of Expectations because I concluded from observation and analysis that they were a gateway to irrational unhappiness. Reading comments on the above blog, triggered a recollection of that idea. Letting go of Goals sounds very similar to me. Both, expectations and goals, are intellectually driven, not intuitionally. Intellect, although necessary to function, needs Intuition to create balance. In the want of expectations and goals – a fictional future – we forget to be in the present, the here & now, the true reality, and sooner or later complain of [irrational] unhappiness, of not knowing who we are, or who’s life we’re living.

Intellect comes with a certain amount of RAM and we are meant to utilize the fossil fuel Intuition (heart, gut, voice from within, motivation, whatever you may wanna call it, it’s the part of you that just knows).

I'm glad I read that blog, it has helped me further understand something truly important.

What A Life!

Note: Don't get critical about the crappy writing style, focus on content instead - specially from 3rd paragraph, starting with "In other news..."

Written: Jan 23 '11

I'm in Jonesboro today, which is where my parents live. Woke up at 7:30 in the the morning after only about a five hour sleep which was preceded by a long chat with Sindhu (roomie), which was preceded by hours of game play at Dave & Buster's with a bunch of friends, which was preceded by work and a quick meet with a friend at the Auto Show being held at the Georgia World Congress Center - I wasn't interested in the cars though, my attention was on typography, instead :) - which was preceded by a happy start to Saturday morning after only about a four to five hour sleep, which was preceded by a long chat with Nammo (roomie), which was accompanied by Zinfandel - drinking started around 8 in the evening on Friday night - the chat was preceded by all four roomies - Harini, Namrata, Sindhu, and I - watching Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge and praising Shahrukh Khan without stop ;), which was preceded by a beautiful evening of poetry at Proma's while Poet Dude was visiting from Boston. Whew! 30 happenin' hours! Wonderfully refreshing!

I reached home this morning around 8:45. Had told dad a few days back that I'll be home early and he doubted my abilities, had to accept the challenge and shot up at the first sound of the alarm. At home, papa was showing off the Netfilx, Blue-ray combo and started playing Guzaarish. He left in the middle due to work but I was hooked! What an amazingly beautiful film! Everything about it is just beautiful: story, actors, acting, sets, songs, direction, you name it! Hrithik Roshan is such a wonderful actor, well, everyone acted exceptionally well in this movie. If you haven't already, watch it!

In other news, in the past week I met three of the people I look up to, consider my role models in some way or another. And for the first time I wasn't starstruck. After observing and listening to them intently, they transformed from being god-like figures to normal human beings, people who make mistakes, people who lose temper, people who can be irrational and judgmental at times, people just like me! This doesn't mean my respect has gone down, not even a bit. In stead, it has now switched to an interesting combination of more respect and more relatability. They, their ideas, their actions, their abilities, their perseverance, their courage doesn't seem so far fetched anymore. They are also human with emotional needs that needed to be either fulfilled or conquered for them to become the pillar they are today. And it doesn't end there. It is a life long process that they continuously fight, but at times can't help getting sucked in. They are just like me! Seeing that confusion, that irrationality in their faces and voices and past and present tales tells me that I too, just like them, can get past the hurdles and come out shining as long as I apply myself and do not give up. Thank you, Khuda, for showing me this light :)

Added: Jan 24 '11

In addition, the above observation cum realization may have also pushed me in the direction of being less judgmental. When I don't like something about a person, instead of jumping to the conclusion that they're incompetent, I have the option of accepting that 1) they may be going through a bad phase, or 2) they are just different than myself, and that's okay! It's absolutely okay.

Adding on to the "it's okay" state-of-mind: unhappy arguments and conflicts that don't result into anything but hurt, aren't taking a toll on me these days. Yes, they hurt. But that's it. I move past them as soon as I accept that I've been hurt. I don't turn around to hurt the source in return, and it's cool. One may think that this may be piling underneath the surface to erupt at a future date, but nothing is piling up! I don't feel heavy at all. I'm light. And I'm happy. I've been saying, "I'm happy!" so much lately, that I'm starting to wonder if it's a lie - but no, I have real happiness on my face! Then I wonder if it's a mistake, a dream. And I can't really deny that, because I feel life is a dream. Each moment a reality when in it, once past it, once it's no longer a reality of the present moment but a mere memory, it starts to have a dreamlike feel, doesn't it? For that matter even when we are dreaming, it feels real when in it. So whatever it may be, however long it may last, this continuous smile is my present reality.

Although I haven't been meditating, Vipassana is the definite culprit :). It is the one that helped me reach this state and the one that helps me accept and move past things on a moment to moment basis. It is the one that helps me smile :) ...and for the past few days, I'm overflowing with love. Unconditional love. I love everyone and everything around me. Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that I don't know how or where to direct it. My eyesight becomes hazy, because it's so effin' full of love! WOW. I've never been here before. And although adjusting is taking some time, I definitely like it here :)

Current State of Mind. Lost. Confused.

I like my current profile picture on Facebook. It has a cold, lost feel to it. It reminds me of philosophical dilemmas. Which, by the way, since have no answers, turn Atheists into Spiritualists, I believe. Not to say that these two have to be distinct. One can both reject the existence of an ultra-omni being and still strive for inner peace. The difference being, self-reliance and self-control leading the way instead of dependence or fear. 

But I digress. Back to the picture. 

The cold feel is probably driven by memory. Lit up trees remind me of Christmas and New Years. Lost, of course, is due to the "ghost" affect, but primarily because of my current state of mind. Surrounded by people, work, responsibilities and a new confusion. Walking the "who am I?" path, again! Did this last year, turned out well. Now, however, it bothers me to be back in this state. Partly because I think it came too soon - it has barely been an year, that's Short! Makes me wonder if I messed up the last time, or left the process incomplete. Eh, this statement sounds so effin' full of void. It has no answer! Damn figuring-shit-out phases! 

And also, it's partly troublesome because, I realize it's a never ending process. Which in itself is bothersome. Never ending?! That phrase is bothersome. How does one deal with something that will never ever end? Is there a point in dealing with it or is it just a waste of time? Don't answer that. I know it's NOT a waste of time; instead it's a step at a time. But, a step at a time to what? Where am I trying to reach? Fucking Nirvana? Well, that'll take lifetimes!

Anyways. So yeah, this is where I currently stand. Lost. Confused.

Observe, Perceive, Employ

Being a romantic and adventurer, I'm not a mist-hater. It makes the world look dreamy, beautiful yet uncertain, discovery prone, demanding exploration.

Atlanta, caught between watery clouds, made me come up with all these hypotheses yesterday. One could gaze up to a certain distance, but after a point landmarks seized to exist to the trained eye. And today, there seemed to be innumerable streets, buildings, and cars lighted up outside the window. Almost an unusual, puzzling amount. The confusion, however, was short-lived as I recalled the mist and realized its affect on how I perceived the same view on two (or rather, three) consecutive days.

Is that what's so attractive about a momentary change? A fresh way of looking at the same, familiar, taken-for-granted surroundings. Thinking about them from a previously unknown or overlooked perspective. Appreciating the existence, the legacy, and smiling away...