wrapping up

We'll be leaving early morning tomorrow. 5 AM is the planned time, and we shall hit the road by 5:30 at the latest. All of out luggage is already in the car including some old suitcases that Nana and Nani had left here before. My back-pack and some food are the only things that will find space in the car tomorrow morning. Although at most times I hate Nana's lecturegiri, even today when he was doing all this packing hurridly I hated the way he was behaving, but the his dialogue that was said after everything was done was pretty solid - "Sone ke liye man ke chain ki zarurat hoti hai" (For a sound sleep, peace of mind is a must). And it makes sense! I ended up smiling at the end :)

Meeku mama and Sejal mamiji (she hates it when I call her that) came over after 2pm. It was okay, I didn't talk much. Sejal mamiji, for some reason, was very quite aswell. It seemed like she didn't want to be there. Hmmm. Took a few pictures, of course!

Meeku Mama, ME, and Sejal MamiJi (shall I call here didi?!)

Meeku Mama, Nani, Aunty, MamiJi, and Uncle

I watched a number of movies here... Sehar, Paheli, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun?, Aradhana... and maybe a few others. Also, ripped a number of the DVDs they have and bought a few DVDs from the Indian store here.

Looking forward to the drive tomorrow. This time I plan on driving for a longer duration than last time. Last time I went by Nana's wish, I didn't resist on giving him the wheel when he wanted it... this time I'm thinking otherwise ;)

Btw, Happy Pakistan Day!
and
Wish you a Very Happy Indian Independence Day!
Jai Hind!

NC to NJ

After dropping papa to the airport Nana-Nani and I left for Greensboro, NC around 4:30 PM on Wednesday - August 10th. We reached Dr. Gupta's house by 9:15 PM. Had some dinner and everybody talked for a long time. Nana-Nani and uncle-aunty went to bed around 12 or 12:30 AM. Ruchika and I, however, were up until around 4 AM. Ruchi is Sat uncle and Madhu aunty's daughter who will be leaving for medical school on 30th or 31st August. We were just chatting about a whole lot of things, no particular area but pretty much everything. She transfered a lot of Hindi MP3s on her flash drive. In the morning I got up before 8AM, got ready, had something to eat, and took a couple of pictures with everyone.

Nana, Sat Uncle, Madhu Aunty, and Nani

ME and Ruchi(ka)

We left for New Jersey around 9:30 and I drove for close to 6 hours on the highway. We took a break to eat something. Once Nana took over the wheels, I made myself comfortable in the back seat and slept for 3 hours straight. When I discovered that we were still driving on the highway around 5:45, I went back to sleep and woke up after an hour. We reached P. Sharma aunty's place within 15 minutes.

It has been alright spending these couple of days at their Edison home. I ripped a few DVDs and watched a couple of movie videos. Yesterday Nana-Nani, Aunty and I went to the mall but didn't really buy anything. In the evening some guests came over and we all had dinner together. The food, of course, was great! They don't have internet at home, as they are very busy with other stuff, but my laptop is catching somebody's wireless connection and they don't have a password on it... :D good for me!

Today, Nani, Aunty and I went to a different mall and did some shopping. I bought 3 jeans, 2 tops, and an earing set for myself. Nani and Aunty helped me out in picking out these things. Earlier today we went to a temple and bought some Hindi movie videos and sarees (No, not for the temple). Tomorrow, NJ and NY is having India Day Parade, in honor of India's Independence Day. When we were driving through the Indian marker here, I saw Indian and American flags flying on every single pole. Another thing, Aunty has Zee TV and New York Life's advertisement - aah! Gooddd!! - gave me that feeling of, I don't know how to put it in words... seeing that tiranga, that tricolor, that Indian flag, flying high and Indians - and I mean to true representation of India.. the village people of India, running with that tricolor in their hand, being proud of their heritage, the feeling of being an India, running with on sands of my country, being pround of it, rises inside of me every single time I see that advertisement. :) I love you India!

Travel on my mind...

Bibi, my paternal grandmother, expired on August 2nd. She was diagnosed with Cancer 20yrs, survived it, but did get very week. From the time I clearly remember her, she was probably between 60 to 65 yrs of age, but to me she looked like this really old and week lady who didn't even have any teeth. Papa hasn't been to India ever since we came here - 4yrs! This is definitely a reason. Can't say it's good what happened, but if this has not happened Papa wouldn't be in India. Atleast he'll get to meet Baba, my grandfather, and all his siblings. Papa's flight is today at 5:15 PM. Nana and I will drop him by 2. I hope he has a safe and a relaxing flight, as he was telling me that he wasn't feeling very well. It is his first time traveling such a big distance all by his own.

After dropping Papa, I'll reach Nana-Nani's place and we'll immediately leave for North Carolina. Spend a night there and then head to New Jersey on Thursday morning.

We haven't moved into the new house yet because of so many other things going on. Half of our stuff is there. In the past two days we had to take 4 trips to that house to get some stuff that either Hansag, Papa, or I needed.

Life's happening!

working = not getting bored

I didn't do anything worth spending time upon the entire day but the night has been worth living. Got up around 12 and went online right away. Was supposed to reply to a few emails but lazyness took over myself. Uploaded a few pictures here and there, browsed through random blogs, without making the effort of reading any. Dad asked me to pack a couple items for moving, but so half-heartedly. The house was very uneventful as well. I decided to take a nap around 6pm. Got up at 7:30 and helped Dad put the new battery in his Mazda MPV. Then we loaded some of the boxes in the car and took off. Borrowed a sweeper from a Gas Station owner. Dad sweeped the garage and the basement. I arranged my notebooks and folders from last year in my closet and threw some other crap away. We put the rest of the boxes in the garage. I drove on our way back. Driving that humongous thing after such a long time wasn't that bad. The beam, however, was continuously on for no reason at all. There's a technical problem with the thing. Returned the sweeper and got back about an hour ago. Took a quick shower and helped Dad in his kitchen adventure. Am about to go have dinner.

Gdnite.. yawn!

another pic for the profile

hearing vs. listening

Did some formal things at the new house, made halwa and ate it. Now, it's okay to start moving in. It's an Indian custom to eat something sweet whenever something good happens. Dad and I picked up Hansag from school and reached the house before 4pm. Mom arrived just a couple seconds before Nana-Nani did. Nani brought along something to eat as well. So, eating something sweet, having lunch and tea time was done there only.

Nana wrote Hansag a check for his B'day and did the same for Mom as well. He was writing me a check, but I asked him not to. Once money goes into my bank account, it hardly ever comes out. I need to buy some outfits for school, so I suggested that they can pay for those. I'm driving up to New York City with Nana and Nani on August 11th. I guess this birthday thing will be taken care of there.

We'll leave around four in the evening on August 11th and spend the night at someone's place in Greensboro, North Carolina. The next day we'll leave early and reach New Jersey in the evening. There, Nani has a friend at whose place we'll be staying. Nana has a conference in NYC and that's the entire purpose of this trip. After starting my week at their place, I thought that maybe I should spend more time with them. Meet the people they know and indulge myself in the sort of conversations they have. It's a learning experience. However, I don't always like the way both Nana and Nani keep on going about "Why parents do what they do?" and how "This is the time to study" and blah blah crap. It fuckin' gets on my nerves. Like today, for no particular reason Nana started saying, "It's your age. You just finished High School and will be starting college soon. Same was the case with your Mom when we moved to Trinidad. And well, she 'too' lived at her Nani's place." I really don't know what the hell is meant by that 'too' and why in the world he was telling me that crap so proudly and was laughing at the same time. I personaly hate the fact that my mother lived at her Nani's place during her college days while her parents were living off in Trini. It's disgusting! Why would you abandon your daughter like that? Maybe 'abandon' is too strong of a word, but man! If you are scared about the culture that your kids would have came in contact with then treat them the same. Not send your daughter somewhere and keep your son with you.

I try to hear these things from one ear and allow them to exit from the other. We should hear everything we are told, but of course listen to only the once we find useful and worth practicing. I hope I don't have to make the sound "umhmm" so many times on our way to NYC.

I can drive ALONE!

From this day on (August 2, 2005) till the day I turn 28 - April 22, 2015 - I hold a permanent driver's license. Got it today! Went to Macon, a city which is about 70 miles south from here. My appointment was at 12:20pm. We reached there 10mins early. The test went fine, I even parallel parked! It wasn't perfect, but was pretty decent. The rest of the driving was okay, of course! Got an 88/100. Passing grade is 75 or above.

The only thing I was worried about was parallel parking. I was too lazy all summer to practice and for the past couple of days Mom-Dad have been really busy with Mom's school starting and we getting ready to move into the new house. Went to Nana-Nani's yesterday to practice, but it didn't work out either. So, this morning I practiced in Save Rite's parking lot for about 45 minutes. Starting from not being able to back up straight, I went to being able to change directions quite easily while backing up. It was fun!

Now, I'm the only person in the family who holds a Driver's License with our new address :D ... I am the first!

Atlanta Blues...

A lot happened today, read the following three sections to find out how I grew in one single day. I should go to Nana-Nani's place more often :-?


"irrational", "impractical", and simply "wrong"

It's amazing how we judge people. Strangers as well as our family and friends. Many a times we become unsatisfied with our own parents or kids. Their decisions, attitudes, and practices start getting on our nerves. According to our set of beliefs and the way of mind, what they do is often "irrational", "impractical", and simply "wrong". But these views change, when we talk to others. It is easier to observe and learn about behavior from a third person's story, rather than our own because then our thinking is not biased.

Whenever I see Nani, she always asks me, "What is wrong? Why do you always look sad? Do smile. You should always he happy. When you share your happiness it doubles, and sharing your sorrows cut them into half." I'm not sad. At home I jump around, crack jokes, do all sort of crazy stuff. But at Nani's place, it's not that I just look at the floor without any curves on my lips, it's just that I don't say much, I'm a quite person around her place - don't know why. Nani always worries about us, all of her kids! That's human nature though. Taking care, doing everything you can do to make the lives of your loved one's easy, and of course worrying every single moment.

I have been told few chapters of Mom's life in bits and pieces by herself. Sometimes when she was mad and sometimes when she wanted Hansag and I to realize how easy our lives are. Hansag and I often share our unsatisfactions and unanswered queries regarding our parents with each other. In all times Hansag and I play the protagonists and our parents are the antagonists in our individual life's stories. Same is the case in Mom's stories, she plays the protagonist. Each time whenever such stories are being told and heard, no matter by who and where, the narrator is the victim of everyones attacks. In these short stories, life always takes a bad turn for the narrator and he/she faces it boldly. Today, for the first time in my life, I got to hear a small part of Nani's story. Of course the type from which she wants me to learn a few things and understand why adults are so controlling of their kids. Nani played the kid this time and told me a little about her upbringing. How she wasn't given much freedom, it was her friends who could come visit her at her house, but she couldn't because the people in the area she lived in knew at all times who was leaving when and who was coming back at what time. Her journey was from home to college and then back home. Even participating in extra-curricular activities was not a part of her life. But she did get compared to other kids like these days, "Look at him/her, he/she got a full scholarship and made a 5 on all of his/her AP exams, why can't you do that?!"

She had a friend who was given a lot of freedom and Nani often set her example in front of her Dad and asked, "Why can't I...?" To which her dad responded, "She is a good girl, but she is too naive." After graduating from High School when Nani was applying to Meerut University for her Bachelor's, her fried had decided to get married. This was a decision she made herself. When she attending Nani's wedding she cried a lot on her own situation, "what a big mistake it was, the guy seduced her, and now her life is hell." At last, with a little water in her eyes Nani said, "God knows where she's now." Just like myself Nani is also very emotional, or maybe I should say I'm exactly like my Nani when it comes to not being able to control my emotions.

In her younger years Nani was told by her parents, like many other, to pay attention to studies. There's a time for everything and this is the time to learn. She attended a co-ed University and majored in Political Science. Completed her Master's after marriage, while taking care of her two little daughters. Mom tells me that Nana and Nani used to go watch movies and often left the kids at home or at someone else's place. Kids get such things stuck in their heads, but if you take a rational view it's okay. They are married, they should get a little while to be alone. Also, after getting married was "the time" of living their (Nana-Nani's) life. Nana-Nani gave their kids a little more freedom compared to what they had as kids. Mom and Papa stepped up a notch with us. I'll do the same with my kids. But in any case, they too will find reasons to call my decisions "irrational", "impractical", and simply "wrong".

Times change and the culture becomes a little more mordernized. But from what I've been hearing, I can say that there is not much difference between yesterday and today. Climate changes on the surface, but deep down the earth's core still looks exactly like it did a thousand years ago.


Conflicting Decisions

Why in the world is life so damn complicated. Everybody does what he/she feels is right for himself/herself. Their souls get after them if they "don't do what they should have done." But what if these things that we feel are right to do, conflict with someone else's dharma? This question is what I've been thinking about from about 1:15pm this afternoon.


Is everyone's life a living hell?

Today I met Akhilesh Sharma, a very successful Ayurvedic Doctor from India. While I was in the kitched making some tea, he was telling Nana-Nani and Papa about a Sardar Ji who he met in New York. The surd was a limousine driver and asked Dr. Akhilesh Sharma whether he had ever rode in a limmo. Later, he offered Sharma a ride and started telling him his tragic story... He came to the US 18yrs ago. Never got a chance to go back because he's illegal. Saw his kids grow up through photographs. Now, his kids do not talk to him on the phone. He often earns $700 a day, but to him it's all waste since he has no one to spend it on. He goes back to an empty house with no-one to share his days happenings with.

Huh... and we all think our lives aren't worth living. Well this is story to let you know that someone's living in even harsher conditions.


I should get started on some serious Networking

Nana and I went to the Global Mall to pick up Dr. Akhilesh Sharma. There I met Kavita Chhibber, one of the writers for Little India. She writes one of those cover page articles. Nana told her that I sometimes write and am a good writer (don't know why people think that, I certainly can't change their thinking). She gave me her card and asked me to email her and said she'll surely do something. She's launching a website - www.kavitachhibber.com - which will contain a special section for today's young writers. I'll send her a couple of my compositions tomorrow.

Another guy, I think his name is Raj. He's starting a non profit organization that will target corporations to help improve India's poverty rate. Also, he is trying to make a movie. He was really excited about it and told us that he had a "vision". So far, he's gonna name is I.N.R.I. These words are found on the cross and stand for Jesus's name. His title, however, will be "I, National Resident of India". The movie will have two parts... first part - "trust God"... second part - "love God"... and at the end it'll say - "God is in you." Mel Gibson is his first choice as the director. Hmm... he didn't impress me at all. To me this project does not seem possible or maybe he has too high expectations. I guess, I wish him luck :-?